While it’s true Tony Romo does take the most grief, fair or unfair, among current starting quarterbacks for being a choketastic ringless playoff clownfraud, let’s hope it stays that way, because the next person in line for that cruel treatment once Romo is off the hook is Matt Ryan, and laughing at Matt Ryan isn’t even that fun. Nowhere close to laughing at Romo, at least.
Since Starter is for the moment done with making Romo pose with his newborn son in their ads, the brand would like to emphasize that there’s more to their pitchman’s playing career than losing hilariously on the big stage. There’s… pushing tires over, I guess? Anyway, this isn’t regular chill bromo, this is INTENSE ROMO, who is acutely aware of his shortcomings and is working hard to show his doubters that he has what it takes to finally win them over and make the cut at the U.S. Open. Oh, does he mean in football? Aww, that’s adorable.
PEOPLE FOCUS ON WHAT WE HAVEN’T ACCOMPLISHED
THEY FOCUS ON MISTAKES
C’mon, we don’t care that much. It’s not really a focus so much as a passing mockery.
Don’t forget the nut punches and curbstompings. We delighted in those as well.
PEOPLE SAY WE HAVEN’T SUCCEEDED
The nerve! Just look at these November stats!
PEOPLE SAY WE HAVEN’T WON A CHAMPIONSHIP
It’s like you don’t even get a trophy for leading the league in smiles.
PEOPLE CRITIQUE OUR LIVES
PEOPLE SAY WE GET TOO MUCH PRAISE
They hate me for who I am! They hate me for other people loving me? There’s just no winning with people. Or football.
PEOPLE ARE FOCUSED ON WHAT WE HAVEN’T DONE
THAT’S WHAT I’M FOCUSED ON, TOO
Well, that and pumping Starter.