White History Month: Frank Caliendo

07.07.14 4 years ago 47 Comments

Screen shot 2014-07-07 at 1.16.45 PM

In a moment of clarty second only to Isaac Newton figuring out what Gravity was when a apple fell on his dick, Calendo dsicovered he could do hilarous impressions when he was a little (well, young) kid and he had to get back surgery. He stayed in bed all day recovering, probly not driving his parents crazy at all, working on his impressions which is ironic because the only person in the history of the world who does more imtations of people fake screaming in bed then Frank is his wife!

Over the years Frank has won over the hearts and minds of NFL fans of ALL colors black brown, purble, yellow, tope, orange, iradessent, green, and yes White by doing classic copies of Terry Bradshaw, Charles Barkley, Al Michael, Mel Kiper and more, as matter fact the only impresson Caliendo hasnt mastered yet is doing a imitation of a funny comedian folks.

2012 will allways be known as a banner year for Getting It Wrong in America. Ironically it was only after we kicked Frank Calendo off the airwaves that this country became the laughing stock of the world when we reelcted Obama. People forget that the very first thing that Hitler did was ban any people who were realy good at doing impressons of athletes, directly leading to Jesse Owenses inflated stats from that era.

Frank Calendo is “a thinking mans Jeff Dunham” and allthough Impressons and puppets fall right between “smashing fruits with a novelty hammer” and “parody twitter accounts with there own blog posts” on the list of historicaly important white comedy routines its sad that we dont have any of them providing NFL coverage any more.

Following in the foot steps of White comedy pioneers who got there jobs by making the person whose easiest to crack up in the world laugh, He struck it big on ESPN when his bud Jimmy Kimmel invited him to join the “comedy” protion of the program that had prevously been filled by Terry Bradshaw trying to explane how to calculate completion percentages. Calendo came on and did his inpression of John Madden saying “boom” and “Brett Farve” over and over again. Folks I’ll be honest I hadnt seen a worst imitation of Madden since NFL Quaterback Club came out for SNES.

If theres one thing that NFL sunday pregame shows need its more people. In that vain, the notable absense of White History icon and funny man Frank Calendo has been devestating for our culture these past couple seasons. I know that theres not alot of room to add talent on FOXs 5 man pregame and postgame shows, or ESPNs Sunday Countdown or postgame show or 5 man Monday night pre game show or 6 person halftime and post game Monday show, or the 7 person Sunday night foot ball pregame halftime and post game show onNBC, or whatever the hell hot trash they put on CBS, or the nonstop covrage on NFLNetwork, but I am offically calling for one of these networks to hire Frank Calendo as a olive branch to your underserved white demographic.

Happy White History month to YOU Frank Caliendo- the man of a thosand voices- and Im NOT talking about what goes on inside Arron Hernandezes head!

Around The Web