Welcome to the 10th edition of our weekly feature, Always Be Covering. The following is a small sample of the games I’ll be investing in sometime before Clinton runs for two bills on the Iggles and Gil drops 50 on the Bucks.
While I may appear startlingly brilliant (or possibly not) you must remember that this is a humor site. If you take me too seriously you should probably just start handing over your spare cash towards a mental health professional.
Pittsburgh -4.5 vs. New Orleans
The Steelers keep loosing and Vegas keeps favoring them…I just can’t take it anymore, somebody has to make it stop before my fucking head explodes.
Washington +6 at Philadelphia
I never bet on, or against, my Washington Redskins. But I’d be remiss if didn’t throw this game into the mix. Washington’s got all the momentum they could ever ask for and Philly’s been slipping like K-Fed career opportunities. We all know that Andy Reid is a fat sack of shit but I always assumed he was a competent coach. That shitty theory went out the window when his team scored six points on a Jaguar defense without the services of Mike Peterson and Marcus Stroud…what a bunch of bitches. I just hope Mama Portis beats the shit out of Mama McNabb.
Kansas City -1.5 at Miami
It’s ok to bet on Herm. It’s ok to bet on Herm. It’s ok to bet on Herm. Fuck, this better work. KC has been lighting it up like the Sunshine Band. LJ’s gonna lace up his Boogie Shoes and Take it to the House like Trick Daddy.
The Jets fought valiantly (you know, for the Jets) in their early season loss to the Pats. Despite their best efforts they still lost by a touchdown at home, and it could have been much worse. Brady is going to recover from last week (he was riding the cotton pony) and Belichick lays awake at night thinking up ways to fuck Mangina in the…uh…mangina.
Indianapolis -7 vs. Buffalo
Buffalo sucked dick with Willis, I don’t see Anthony Thomas helping matters much. With Bob Sanders (hey SG, why isn’t he on the Reggie Cleveland All Stars?) back in the lineup the Colts defense is more than just Cato June on speed.
*Both lines have been teased 6 points
Who do you like this week? We welcome you to share all of your ill-fated picks in the comment section.