10.09.08 9 years ago 38 Comments

You know, this is a fast-moving news world we live in. Stories come and go in a relative flash. And that’s not always a good thing, because sometimes we forget the important things. So we at KSK would like to take a little bit of time out each week to remind you, dear reader, THAT MICHAEL IRVIN ONCE STABBED A GUY IN THE FUCKING NECK WITH A FUCKING PAIR OF SCISSORS.

I think it’s important that we never lose sight of that fact. Because, again, HE STABBED A MAN IN THE FUCKING NECK. Now, perhaps you too have quibbled with a teammate in the past. Maybe you’ve quarreled over playing time, or maybe you had a dispute over a lady, or maybe you just plain didn’t like each other. It happens. Sometimes, you get fired up and say things you regret, or you get into a shoving match.

That’s understandable. It’s happened to all of us at one point in our lives. But you know what isn’t understandable? Taking a pair of fucking scissors and then plunging them into the throat of someone, barely missing their carotid artery and causing them to bleed uncontrollably. ALL BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO GET YOUR FUCKING HAIR CUT FIRST. I would say that’s going a bit overboard. Even Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber, doesn’t condone such actions.

Just something to keep in mind as you go about your daily business. Remember: he’s not the Playmaker. He’s the AttemptedMurderer.

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