In Freeport, Grand Bahama, Amelia Klonaris grew up dealing with the frustrations of living in a small city. Her hometown had a claustrophobic, island mentality. Everyone knew everyone and Amelia felt like her every action was on display. It wasn’t always an easy way to exist, and it definitely made the bullying she experienced in high school feel more intense.
“I never really followed a crowd, so I think that kept on making it worse,” Amelia says. “For years people were just posting stuff online about me, about my family.”
Wanting to escape life on the island, Amelia decided to go to college in Dublin, even though a part of her sensed that college wasn’t right for her.
“At the time,” she says. “I just wanted to go as far away from the island as I could.”
But even though she was physically escaping, Amelia still felt trapped in a life she didn’t feel excited about. She became increasingly depressed over the course of a year.
“No one really knew about what was going on,” she says. “I didn’t find any enjoyment in anything I did. I felt numb. I literally just stayed in bed and cried all day and night. I didn’t sleep.”
Amelia was savvy enough to recognize that the path she was on seemed to be leading away happiness. So she decided to drop out, go back home, to try and figure what she actually wanted to do. It turned out to be the right decision for her, though at the time, it made her feel terrible.
“I really felt like a failure leaving school,” she explains, “because I wanted to prove to myself, and my parents, and people that were doubting me that I could succeed and go to college.”
Leaving Ireland brought more unwanted attention. People in the community suggested that Amelia had failed out or was addicted to drugs. The rumors hurt, but they kickstarted a new journey of self-discovery. A journey which began in the water.
“I started scuba diving when I was 13,” Amelia says. “When I came back from Ireland, my mom was like, ‘Why don’t you get back into that? You loved it.'”
She started taking courses to get certified as a dive master, then as an instructor, and slowly, felt a new sense of joy and belonging.
“When you go under the water,” she says, “it’s a completely different world. It’s just quiet. You get to interact with underwater life. Turtles, sharks, dolphins, all type of amazing animals — it’s just incredible.”
With the water restoring her sense of self, Amelia moved to Nassau and began embracing what she actually loved instead of ignoring it for more conventional pursuits. Now, she looks back on those days in high school and college and barely recognizes herself.
“I find myself a completely different person,” she says. “I see things differently, I feel. I take enjoyment of a lot of little things.”
Currently, Amelia is a freelance dive instructor, and is saving money to travel the world.
“Oh my God, I want to go everywhere,” she says. “I’m dying right now to go to India and Sri Lanka… all the culture there. I just want to experience different cultures.”
She doesn’t regret leaving school. For some people, that’s the right path, but it just wasn’t for her.
“It sounds cliché!” she says with a laugh. “But I just don’t want to look back on my life and say, ‘I wish I did this,’ or, ‘I wish I lived more,’ because it just goes by so fast.”
She encourages others to figure out what makes them happy, to “go out and be who you are, do what you love.” It’s simple advice, but Amelia wants others who struggle like she did to know that it’s okay to be different, and okay to follow your dreams… even if those dreams don’t offer a straightforward path to conventional success.
As for the bullies that made her life miserable for a time, Amelia no longer cares what they or anyone else thinks of her.
“I just stopped caring what people were saying about me,” she says, “and I found happiness in myself.”
