- The sun will be totally eclipsed by the moon, casting the world in darkness.
- The summer will be on the wane, causing young people everywhere to worry that they didn’t do enough to maximize the sunny months.
Our lizard-brain fear of the heavens meets the millennial terror of FOMO. The result?
MASSIVE PARTIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY!!!
Seriously, it’s gonna be lit (but also not fully lit, because of the whole eclipse thing). There will be festivals, and concerts, and people buying weird glasses to look at the sun. What joyless monster wouldn’t want to be a part of that? Are you so rich with cool parties and celestial phenomena that you don’t need to bother? Do you have such an endless future ahead that you can wait a few hundred years until the next eclipse? Do you refute the mystic belief that wishes made on the 21st will lead to eternal happiness and a lifetime of awesome sex?
Okay, so maybe we made the last one up, but still… it’s going to be a hell of a time! Here’s where to celebrate the Great American Eclipse:
OREGON ECLIPSE FESTIVAL — Big Summit Prairie, Oregon
Here’s a pretty simple math equation: Burning Man MINUS people saying “this is played out and dominated by tech bros” MINUS the actual tech bros PLUS water so that the festival isn’t a goddamn Mad Max desertscape EQUALS the best week ever.
We’ve talked about the Symbiosis Gathering before — calling it “Burning Man’s cooler kid cousin.” This year the younger cousin has grown up, by doing the one thing Burning Man never tried: Going mobile. For 2017, Symbiosis has redubbed themselves Oregon Eclipse and they’re setting up camp at a small lake near the city of Prineville — smack in the middle of the eclipse path.
Imagine yourself camping with a few thousand like-minded souls — practicing yoga, dancing to some of the most renowned DJs on earth, studying up on wellness, and taking permaculture classes. Then the sky turns black, the beats explode, and the world feels like a brilliant, electric, wild place; full of magic.
Sounds pretty cool, right? It will be. Join the Uproxx crew there, if you can score tickets.