Do you know how many Popeyes restaurants there are? 2600. You thought it was more, didn’t you? You thought there was a Popeyes in every town — maybe even in every neighborhood — what with how awesome the quality of their fast food is and how delicious the commercials make it look every time they interrupt the TV show you’re currently watching to remind you that sweet tea and thighs are available nearby.
But it’s a lie! Because there isn’t a Popeyes on every corner and the American people have waited far too long to enjoy its spoils at reasonable prices. That’s why the news that Popeyes is being acquired by Restaurant brands International should be an exciting piece of news that encourages you to look towards the future, to April, when the deal will be done (RBI has only now announced its acquisition) and the gospel of Popeyes can be spread throughout the land, bringing fried chicken, red beans, rice, and whatever magic they put into their potatoes to people who have never experienced this flavor sensation (please note: most of my happiest Popeyes memories include me being unforgivably drunk, so I may be biased) before.
RBI, which Eater reports bought Popeyes for a cheap $1.8 billion (compared to the $11 billion they paid for Tim Horton’s), still has a long journey ahead if it ever wants to overtake the current reigning fast food chicken champion — KFC — but considering the fact that Burger King could easily incorporate Popeyes into its stores, giving us another version of the KFC/Taco Bell/ Pizza Hut combo, it stands to reason that we’re about to see new and exciting things in fast food.
Personally, I’m really hoping that I can one day order both my Burger King onion rings (no competition) (fight me) and my cajun fries (with a side of biscuits to boot because, dude, have you ever had a biscuit?) all in one place, but that’s still probably a ways away. But I can dream, right? And my dream right now is that this move means a Popeyes is opening in my neighborhood (so that I can safely walk home after drunkenly purchasing my red beans and rice and forgetting all my change on the counter).