We Tried Burger King’s Cheetos Chicken Fries So You Don’t Have To (Really, You Don’t Have To)

E.S. Huffman

Cheetos Chicken Fries
have arrived. On Monday, news of Burger King’s strange new mashup hit the Interwebs, and prompted much excitement and revulsion from the masses. I for one, was hyped. Hopeful. Optimistic, even, after tasting firsthand the mistake that was the Whopperrito. The most exciting bit: I barely had to wait for my Cheetos Chicken Fries — they made their big debut today.

You know I was there before breakfast even ended. Literally.

I rolled into the drive-thru, eager for my Cheetos Chicken Fries, at quarter past nine. After I ordered (asking for a side of Ranch, because I figured that was the only logical option), the drive-thru worker told me to pull around to the front, because it was going to take five minutes to fry the Cheetos Chicken Fries up, and they didn’t want me jamming up their line. (Well, she didn’t tell me that last part. But I assumed.)

So I waited patiently, until my pieces of pre-breaded Chicken were fried in oil and coated in Cheetos dust. I was about to enter fast food Nirvana. I prepared myself for the best, opened the box, and partook of my first chicken fry, fresh and warm from the deep-fryer.

It was…underwhelming.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually ordered regular Chicken Fries from Burger King before, so I can’t say how they compare, but I can say that these tasted nothing like Cheetos. They were crunchy, yes — if a bit overdone. The exterior crust was bland, barely even salty, giving way to a spongy white meat interior. I put my Cheetos Chicken Fries box back in the bag and drove home, ready to test them out with the Ranch. (And, you know, take pictures for posterity.)

E.S. Huffman

Photographed on my balcony for ~*natural lighting*~ purposes.

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