INTERNATIONAL BACON DAY: Who Cares If It’s Cliché? Bacon Is The F*cking Best!

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It’s International Bacon Day! Everyone join hands and sing in harmony. And while the suckers are busy singing, the rest of us can swoop in for the last piece of bacon. Need to make more? Read on for three great ways to prepare bacon for the ones you love (like me, I’ve always been good to you).

But first, let’s take a look at some people who are doing this whole “bacon obsession” thing right (like at the New York State Fair, where they’re serving Pumpkin-Spiced Bacon).

THE SPANGLISH SANDWICH

When I’m absolutely starving, the first thing I crave is the Thomas Keller-created and ridiculously wonderful BLT-fried egg-and-cheese sandwich from the movie Spanglish. It’s perfect — everything you’ve ever wanted in a sandwich (mostly fat and salt). Here’s the behind the scenes “making of the sandwich” DVD extra. Try not to lick your screen. It makes it all rainbowy… or so I’ve heard.


DEVILS ON HORSEBACK — MEEHAN’S PUBLIC HOUSE (Atlanta, Ga.)

Fact: Dates are nature’s candy. Why not wrap some bacon around them and fend off the hungry hordes? Or try Meehan’s Devils on Horseback — goat cheese stuffed medjool dates wrapped in applewood bacon with roasted golden beets and red wine reduction. Look at bacon, being all fancy!

MAPLE BACON LONG JOHN — GLAZED & CONFUSED (Chicago, Ill.)

The folks at the brilliantly named Glazed & Confused in Chicago have created the Maple Bacon Long John. It’s a vanilla long john doughnut with a maple glaze frosting and a full slice of candied bacon. If you need more salesmanship than that, I can’t help you.

RUFUS XAVIER — MESA (Costa Mesa, Calif.)

All this bacon is making me thirsty. As a bacon-infused cocktail accompaniment, Julia Arjune at Mesa in Orange County, Calif. invented the Rufus Xavier, which she named “for the old Schoolhouse Rock song.” It’s a nod to a traditional root beer float, but much maltier, thanks to the Old Chub ale. The crumbled bacon on top gives it that salty/sweet magic. If you’re going to have all those calories, it might as well be alcoholic, too!

Mesa even offered us the recipe:

Rufus Xavier

2 scoops of (house made) maple ice cream
1 oz. Jeremiah Weed Sarsaparilla Whiskey
6 oz. Oskar Blues Old Chub Scotch Ale
Top with finely chopped bacon


ALRIGHT, with your Pavlovian responses properly induced, here are three fool-proof ways to make your own spectacular bacon.

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1. Stove top.

Use an iron skillet — your bacon will actually absorb trace amounts of iron, making it, dare I say, vitamin-enhanced. Start in a cold pan, lay your bacon slices out neatly and turn the heat onto medium low. Too hot and you end up with charred yet half-raw bacon. As soon as the pieces start to curl and sizzle, you can flip them until they’re done the way you like. Lay the cooked pieces out on a paper towel to drain. Keep the grease-soaked paper towel away from your dog, or you’ll have a situation. Pour off any excess grease between batches.

2. Oven.

Making a big batch or hate cleaning? This is my personal go-to method. Line a cookie sheet with foil, make sure it has a lip around the edge, and put a cooling rack on top. Line your bacon up and cook it in an oven at 400 degrees. Bake it for 15 to 20 minutes. No need to set it on paper towels because the fat has dripped away, but be careful pulling the sheet out of the oven because there will be loads of grease on it. Crave candy bacon? Dredge each slice through some brown sugar spiked with cayenne and follow the same instructions. It’s… really, really good.

3. Nuke it.

Only want to make enough for a sandwich for you and only you and nobody else because they don’t deserve your bacon? Line a microwave-safe dish with about four layers of paper towels, place just enough bacon for you on it, and microwave on high for one minute per slice. So let’s see, enough bacon for one perfect BLT? Fifteen minutes in the microwave should do.

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