This Insane Craigslist Job Posting Will Make You Appreciate Your Boss

Life & Culture Editor
08.10.17 6 Comments

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned from working on the internet, it’s that most things are fake, anything that’s fun is a viral marketing stunt, and that the leaders of the western world (and probably all other nations) are actually just intergalactic lizards who know how to do mind control. I’m jaded as heck, man (family website) and my favorite activity is responding to links my friends send me with the words “old” or “fake” while feeling hella smug about the whole thing.

But then, sometimes the impossible happens. Sometimes you stumble onto something so wide-eyed in its complete lack of self-awareness but also so true to life in its naked sincerity that you’ve got to stop and say, “there are surprises yet!” And these surprises — they come courtesy of two clueless Bay Area techies that are looking for someone to run their lives while working for less than $20 an hour.

“Their entire lives?” you’re asking yourself. “You mean like walking their dogs? Washing the dishes?” Well, there’s that, too, yes, but if you apply for this job, which, by the way, requires a video essay that proves that you’re fluent in English (they mention this need for fluency several times, so it must be a big deal), you’d better be good at everything from washing dishes to protecting their frequently vomiting dog, to wood-working.

Are you good at wood-working? Are you ready to emotionally prostitute yourself to strangers for the chance to earn $15-35 and hour? No? Then this isn’t the job for you. So here’s the question: Is this posting real? Read it all below (because you know it’s gonna be deleted soon) and let us know:

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