Humans Lack Penis Bones For Some Very Important Reasons

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Humans are unlike other primates in a lot of respects, but one of the more glaring is that the term “boner” isn’t literal for us; for many animals, though, there really is a penis bone. It’s called the baculum and humans, spider monkeys, and woolly monkeys are the only primates that lack one. Why? because we are, by nature’s standards, one-pump chumps. But it turns out that’s not a bad thing.

The baculum doesn’t exist for her pleasure. Or anybody’s, really. While the exact purpose of the baculum is up in the air, the fact that promiscuous species have longer penis bones leads to the theory that it helps males pin females and keep them from reproducing with some other male, thus guaranteeing their genes propagate. Sorry, kids, nature is gross and kinda rape-y. And also prone to child murder. Animals really kinda suck.

Anyway, research presented to the Royal Society used simulation models to try out baculum evolution, and found that humans didn’t need to worry about it because, as a rule, we tend to be fairly limited in our choices of sexual partners. Your average bonobo sees more action in a mating season than most humans will experience in their lifetimes, statistically, even people who will tell you they’re polyamorous before you learn their names. As a result, we don’t need to have our penises propped up with a bone; we can get in and get out much faster and get about our days. And before you ask, yes, this means foreplay gives humanity an evolutionary advantage, so advance evolution and get to work, folks.

(Via Gizmodo)

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