Enter into a romantic relationship and you’re eventually going to have a fight. Stay in that relationship and you’ll probably have many fights. Forget about the fights that concern real issues, let’s talk about the fights that are just plain stupid.
Arguing about pointless stuff is — in a weird way — part of the fun of being in a relationship. Hell, some great meet-cutes begin with a heated debate over some trivial topic. If you’re concerned that you and your partner may be arguing about dumb things that don’t really matter, then take solace in these Reddit tales of relationship woe that started over the silliest of things.
Playing Dirty.
Experimentation is good in any healthy relationship, but that trust has gotta be there, too. Redditor ohyerhere found out that when the two don’t go hand-in-hand the police sometimes show up, even if it’s for completely unrelated reasons.
I was wrestling with a girlfriend and she tried to poke me in the arsehole with her finger. I told her I would have her arrested if she did it, just so she would be in the newspaper police blotter. Later that night she went to bed before me. The neighbors had the cops called on them for something and there were a couple of cruisers out front with flashing lights. I stepped outside for a cigarette and to watch the drama. Not much happened so I went to bed.
The next morning my gf told me we were done and I needed to move out. When I asked why, she insisted that I called the police about the whole finger in the butthole incident. I couldn’t convince her otherwise.
Cheating with Wendy.
One of the best parts of being in a relationship is that you have somebody else to eat completely unhealthy fast food with. What should have ended with an extra burger run turned into a very unnecessary screaming match for ScootyaBoot.
My ex girlfriend called my parents house looking for me, my dad told her I went to Wendy’s. She got a hold of me, screaming incoherently, then said, “WHO THE F*CK IS WENDY?!?”
I went to Wendy’s (fast food) for a burger.
Know your Musicals.
Fans of musicals tend to take their musicals very seriously. And when you insult those musicals and the person at the same time, well, things tend to turn ugly. Apparently Redditor AnonnEms wasn’t a Julie Andrews fan and his relationship paid the price for it.
On a road trip my ex sings, “and the hills are alive with the sound of …” And then looks to me to continue. I have no idea what she is signing (it’s from The Sound of Music; apparently “the hills are alive with the sound of music” is what I was supposed to say). Instead I see some cows as we’re driving, so that’s what I say, “the hills are alive with the sound of cows”. Ex flips her sh*t because somehow she thinks I’m saying she sounds like a cow.
No nest appreciation.
Drunk people do stupid things, it’s just a fact. They also tend to argue about those stupid things. EmawGooner found out the hard way that his alcohol-inspired ideas aren’t always appreciated and he is still paying the price today.
I drunkenly put a bunch of pillows and blankets in the bed of my truck and wanted to sleep in it with her. She said no. I got pissed at her for not wanting to sleep in my “nest”. I remember screaming at her “I made you a f*cking nest!”… It ended up pouring that night, too. My buddies still give me sh*t for that one. Embarrassing
Flatulence battle.
Do you and your significant other enjoy farting on one another? No? Well, then consider your relationship miles ahead of LionTheBunny‘s on the maturity scale.
For awhile, every time my fiancé farted on me I would retaliate by licking his face because he hates it. So we get drunk one night, he farts on me, I GO TO TOWN all over this dudes face. Like chin to hairline licking. He. Gets. Furious. So we’re drunk as f*ck, standing on opposite sides of the kitchen, SCREAMING at each other “I’LL STOP FARTING WHEN YOU STOP LICKING ME!” “I’LL STOP LICKING YOU WHEN YOU STOP FARTING!” He storms out of the kitchen, and I start feeling remorseful, so I decide to make him a treat. So I microwave some spaghetti and meatballs from a can. Take the bowl out of the microwave and it’s hot as F*CK so I drop it, bowl shatters, spaghetti everywhere. Boyfriend walks in to me sitting in a pile of noodles, weeping. He’s like “What the hell?!” I was like “I was *sob* trying to make you sexual spagheeeeetttttiiiiiiii.” I’m guessing the utter absurdity was too much for him – he laughed while I cried, and we were suddenly made up.
Chick-fil-A Cow Literacy.
Being part of a relationship means that you always have somebody to debate the stupidest of issues with. Forget about any topics of real-world importance, Honestlytho had a bone to pick on a topic that’s too often ignored: the spelling skills of those Chick-fil-A cows.
My girlfriend tried arguing with me that the Chick-fil-A cows should be able to spell properly if they were going to write on a billboard. I argued for way too long that if I was teaching a cow to write and it got to the point where people could understand its message, then I would be okay with that.
Pound vs. Pound
Sometimes engaging in a silly argument with a significant other can actually be a very eye-opening thing. For DjLionking, this argument doubled as an I.Q. test for his now ex.
I had an ex argue with me “over which would weigh more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers.” We went back and forth forever while I tried to explain it to her.
It did not help when her mother chimed in with “what about a pound of wet feathers?!”
The apple does not fall far from the tree.
We will cross our fingers that people have some stories of their own to add to this vital conversation in the comments.
