Just when you thought you’d seen everything 2016 had to offer (to recap: the Cubs won the World Series and Donald Trump became an actual candidate for President of the United States), Starbucks had the audacity to introduce an even less Christmas-y holiday cup than last year. But before you have a chance to feign shock over that scandal, Starbucks is about to actively distract the crap out of you with their brand new, first-ever, iced holiday coffee drink. It’s called the Spiced Sweet Cream Nariño 70 Cold Brew and boy does it sound rich!
The drink is created with a blend of Columbian Nariño and African coffee beans which spend 2o hours slow-steeping. It’s then doused with a cheery blend of spices — cinnamon, anise, nutmeg, and vanilla — and finished with a generous helping of sweet cream. Starbucks first introduced cold brew coffee a couple years ago but this is the first time they will offer the beverage as a holiday treat.
According to Bustle, one single 12-ounce Spiced Sweet Cream Narino 70 Cold Brew (try saying that ten times fast) contains approximately 140 mg of caffeine and will cost between $3.25 and $4.25. It’s available now if you’re a rewards member, and will be available non-members later this month.
Two things: If you’re not a super committed Starbucks drinker, having to choose between “tall, grande, venti, and trenta” is embarrassing enough; now you’re telling us that if we’re interested in stepping outside our comfort zone and risking cardiac arrest for a sweet and spirited coffee treat we have to say “Spiced Sweet Cream Narino 70 Cold Brew?” Sorry, but that’s not happening (come up with some shorthand). Also, what kind of cups do these come in? It’s iced coffee so they’re obviously not served in the new green cups — are we about to have another conservative mutiny on our hands?
We get it: With this drink Starbucks can include Floridians, Southern Californians, and other warm weather folk in all the holiday bliss, but we’re not entirely sure we’ll be able to stomach our favorite holiday flavors in a cold substance.
Now back to those cups!
(Via Refinery 29)