This Guy Accidentally Bought $1,100 Worth Of Sushi, Let His Mistake Make You A Smarter Diner

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Here’s the thing: The story you’re about to read will either irritate or infuriate you. No, it’s not about the election or a think piece on important issues, but the sheer idiocy of the two morons you’re about to meet will probably depress you real hard about where we, as humans, are going. And it’s literally about sushi.

First of all, props to Vice contributor Chris Galletta for owning his idiocy. Second of all, man is this guy an idiot (even years later).

Here’s how he opens his story for Vice, which took place when McKellen and Stewart were in Waiting for Godot and Galletta and his friend decided to have sushi for dinner.

Not too far from the theater, it turned out, one of Jiro’s protégés had opened his own sushi restaurant. It was supposed to be transcendent. And so it was decided: We would fill our bellies with potent, nutrient-dense raw fish and then listen to Magneto and Professor X say some old words.

First mistake: Doing no research and just deciding to go to a restaurant owned by someone who studied under Jiro. Second mistake: Not questioning the use of the word transcendent in relation to sushi. Regular affordable sushi is “good” and you can get it any old time. Transcendent sushi? That’s going to cost you, man. Why didn’t you check Yelp, though?

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