This has been a summer for dudes: First, they took over the romper. Then, they decided that, you know what, it was time for them to start wearing see-through lace shorts, too. And while we’ll never fault a guy who’s comfortable enough in himself to roll on out of his house ready to subvert gender stereotypes, the ladies knew that they deserved a little something-something to make their summer extra special, too. So they came for the dadbod. You hear that, dads? Your hairy chests, weak nipples, and pulpy beer bellies have been appropriated!
The suit, which, for some reason or another features a completely ‘scaped crotch — don’t fear the pubes, people — retails for $44.95 and is a comfortable one-piece that shows off everything while actually showing off nothing. Do we think it’s genius? Absolutely. You can do whatever the hell you want in this thing: Swim, sun, eat as much as you want and then just blame it on the contouring of the graphic because who gonna check you, boo?
What do other people think? Well, they’re a little confused. And disgusted. (Why? All bodies are beautiful.)
no we're absolutely not doing this pic.twitter.com/N0Kd1BCFEe
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) June 8, 2017
why does this exist
— guega🇵🇸 (@sir_cumcise) June 8, 2017
https://twitter.com/Barbarian1604/status/872745059539726336
👀👀🤤 This suit is badly in need of Nair
— Lanna (@Lannatexasgal) June 9, 2017
Thankfully, some have embraced it:
https://twitter.com/BelovedShirts/status/874044886315671552
https://twitter.com/bigbadabingg/status/872791686111428609
"It's called fashion Brenda, looks it up…"
— A (@SheisOkay__) June 8, 2017
Yeah, Brenda: Get ? with ? the ? program.
Who knows if anyone will wear these in the wild — at least outside of a “look how crazy I am!!!” before a miraculous quick change into some two-piece with chainmail accents — but if we could make the Babadook this year’s most recognizable LGBT icon, there’s lots of hope for the hairy swimsuit becoming the look of the season.
