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Colbert Warns About The Latest Threat To America’s Youth: Vodka-Soaked Tampons

By 11.15.11

Every couple of months there’s a new “deadly teen trend” that people in media, usually of the local variety, practically invent out of thin air to scare the sh*t out of parents and grandparents who then turn around and make the lives of teens even more miserable than they were before.

“Jenny McJenerson on Action Five news said that teenagers are farting into their toothpaste to get high — better take away the toothpaste and demand they stop farting!”

So what’s the latest scourge threatening America’s future by way of destroying our youths? Vodka-soaked tampons!

Yes, as Warming Glow has noted, a television station in Arizona actually reported that kids are soaking tampons in vodka and then inserting the tampons into their vaginas and butts to get their buzz on at school. What they don’t explain is if they later pull out the tampons to suck the booze out (EW!!!) or if it just gets soaked up by their naughty bits? Does it work equally as well with whiskey or bourbon? Inquiring minds want to know!

Anyway, this crossed Stephen Colbert’s radar and, well, funny happened last night. Enjoy.

TAGSdeadly teen trendsSTEPHEN COLBERTthe colbert reportvodka-soaked tampons

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