The following conversation took place a little after midnight CST last night after a lady friend pinged me on gchat…
Friend: OMG are you watching CNN?
Me: Negative. Watching A Prophet on Starz. Or maybe it’s Encore. Whatever. You should be watching too. Badass flick. What’s up on CNN?
Friend: Just put it on CNN…Live feed from Kim Jong Il’s funeral. It’s ridonk.
Me: Oh hell yeah. SOLD!
Me: HOLY SH*T!!!
Me: I have to say, these people are crying like they’ll be shot in the head later today if they don’t cry hard enough.
Friend: It’s so freaky. The result of years of brainwashing unfolding before our eyes.
Me: Maybe their tears are secretly tears of happiness?
Friend: I doubt it. I think they’re genuinely freaking out.
Me: “WHO WILL GIVE US A WEEKLY CRAPPY LOAF OF BREAD TO SURVIVE ON NOW?!?!”
Me: It’s like they have no confidence in Kim Jong Un. I wonder how he feels watching this?
Friend: He’s probably just thinking about all the pussy he’s going to get now. How he’s going to sex all of those crying women with his powerful choad.
Me: “MY FATHER LIVES ON THROUGH MY STUBBY PENIS. PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH AND HE WILL SOON ENTER YOU IN THE FORM OF A SALTY CREAM SAUCE.”
Me: “I may be your Dear Leader, but little Kim Jong Dong here is your Dear Seeder.”
Me: I’m sorry, it’s late and I’m a little delirious.
Me: Hello? Anyone there?