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Meth Addict Accidentally Burns Down 'A Tree Older Than Jesus'

By / 02.29.12

The fact that I can’t stop laughing at this ridiculous story — out of Florida (Longwood), naturally — can mean only one thing: I must share it with you, dear UPROXX reader. A story about an addict climbing the world’s 5th oldest tree — one dubbed “The Senator,” no less, because senators tend to be decaying relics — to smoke meth in it and accidentally setting it ablaze is simply too much like a plotline straight out of Breaking Bad for me not to.

Reports the AJC:

(26-year-old Sarah) Barnes has admitted starting the fire and is charged with meth possession with intent to sell and arson.

Police say she and a friend clambered into a 118-foot-tall bald cypress Jan. 16 and allegedly smoked meth. Since it was dark, Barnes allegedly lit a fire so she could see.

Somehow, the calm, dextrous hands of a meth user led to a blaze that burned the 3,500-year-old plant “from the inside out.”

The night of the blaze, firefighter tried desperately to save the tree, running a mile of hose through the park, reports

“I can’t believe I burned down a tree older then Jesus,” Barnes is alleged to have said to friends while showing them pictures she took of the damage.

Hmmm, considering that Longwood is relatively close to Orlando, I wonder who could have supplied Barnes with meth? OH SNAP…

Pinkman probably sold to this idiot. Walter’s gonna be so pissed when he finds out.

(HT: Cord Jefferson. Screengrab via WFTV, WW Meth Labs image via, GIF via)

TAGSFLORIDAMETHohio or floridaWalter White

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