Christian Bale is currently doing publicity for “Out Of The Furnace” and all anyone can seem to talk about is Batman. Given we were at the height of Bat-Kid mania during the junket, which Bale did comment on, and Bale is the last to wear the cape, it’s understandable.
Among the questions are a few where he laid out some helpful bathroom tips for the newest man to don the cowl and nipple suit, Ben Affleck. None of that advice includes dealing with the swell of internet bile that accompanies his name, according to The Huffington Post:
“I wish him all the best. He’s a very experienced actor and filmmaker, he’ll make it his own,” Bale told Access Hollywood, before revealing the one piece of advice he gave Affleck. “The only thing I said to him is [to] make sure he could take a piss without anyone having to help him. It’s a little humiliating.”
Always good to know that Batman has no way of urinating on his own. Just attack him when his urine handler is leading him to the bathroom and he’s finished. If I were Batman, I’d just hang myself from high up and just hang dong until my bladder was dry. Only way to be sure no one gets the drop on you, but probably gets a drop or two on themselves.
Bale also threw down a little advice about his much maligned voice and how Affleck has to tackle it with his own interpretation.
“Ben’s obviously going to have to do his own thing, but it was the only way that I could find how to get into that and to justify wearing the fricking Batsuit. Otherwise, he’s just loopy beyond belief. He’s loopy, but he’s loopy with a method to his madness.” (via)
Here’s hoping Ben Affleck chooses to do his whole Batman performance with that Australian accent he faked in “Armageddon.” It’ll be a nice mix of Dennis Reynolds as Mel Gibson and that Australia episode of “The Simpsons.”
Via gettyimages / Yoko Higuchi