Conan O’Brien’s Advice For Graduates

Entertainment Editor

That picture isn’t what his advice was, but it’s still a good way to start your morning.  Breakfast of blogging champions.

Yesterday, Conan O’Brien delivered the commencement address for the Dartmouth College class of 2011 (video below).  What, uh, commenced was almost 24 minutes of awesomeness.  I never thought I’d be laughing at someone discussing the Latin motto of a college. He also makes plenty of clever japes about the economy and the value of a college degree, with lines like:

Today, you have achieved something special — something only 92% of Americans your age will ever know —  a college diploma.  That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8% of the workforce. I’m talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.

He also does our black little hearts proud by throwing in a dig at Jay Leno around the sixteen minute mark:

Yes, you parents must be patient because it is indeed a grim job market out there.  And one of the reasons that it’s so tough finding work is that aging baby boomers refuse to leave their jobs.  Trust me on this.  Even when they promise you for five years that they are going to leave . . . and say it on television — I mean you can go on YouTube right now and watch the guy do it — there is no guarantee they won’t come back.   Of course I’m speaking generally.

After this point the speech turns very sincere, while maintaining the humorous tone.  Did you know one of the guys who hosted Blues Clues died in a motel shoot-out with police?  It’s true.  Conan told me.

All in all, this is one of the best speeches delivered from behind a tree stump that I’ve ever seen:

The full transcript of his speech is available at Team Coco. And you can watch a collection of the other great 2011 commencement speeches here.


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