As you may have heard, some Al Qaeda retard recently called for the death of Late Show host David Letterman — who’s already fending off attacks by deranged, out-of-work actors — by issuing a fatwa against him for jokes he’s made about Al Qaeda. The jihadist issuing the threat called for his fellow as$-backwards religious nutjob friends to “cut the tongue of this lowly Jew and shut it forever” — nevermind the fact that Letterman isn’t Jewish. Also, doesn’t Al Qaeda have better things to do than target American late night talk show hosts/comedians? Is this what it’s come to? To think that these are the jerkoffs who pulled off 9/11, goaded us into two never-ending wars, and basically bankrupted the richest country in the world in the process is utterly mind-boggling.
Anyway, Letterman came back from vacation last night and addressed the whole thing with humor immediately in the opening couple of minutes of his monologue, which is embedded above. And below is last night’s Top Ten, titled, “Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through My Mind After Hearing About the Threat.” Meanwhile, I remain unconvinced that Jay Leno and Sarah Palin aren’t involved in all of this somehow.