Today in “We can’t pre-order this book fast enough” news, Neil Patrick Harris has an autobiography set to be released on October 14, and for once it’s not just a collection of a celebrity’s sage advice and vague recollections of that time he got drunk with Skeet Ulrich. Instead, NPH is taking the autobiography game to a brand new level, as he is allowing us to become the “stars” in his own life story, which will be told as a “Choose Your Own Autobiography.” Will you decide to purchase and read this book when it’s available? Or will you instead investigate the noise in the dark cave? Spoiler: You’re going to die in that cave.
But don’t take my Waldo- and Shel Silverstein-loving word for it. Instead, let the description of this ridiculously clever idea cause you to open up Amazon, see the price and then save it for when there’s a used copy available.
SICK of deeply personal accounts written in the first person? Seeking an exciting, interactive read that puts the “u” back in “aUtobiography”? Then look no further than Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography! In this revolutionary, Joycean experiment in light celebrity narrative, actor/personality/carbon-based life-form Neil Patrick Harris lets you, the reader, live his life. You will be born in New Mexico. You will get your big break at an acting camp. You will get into a bizarre confrontation outside a nightclub with actor Scott Caan. Even better, at each critical juncture of your life you will choose how to proceed. You will decide whether to try out for Doogie Howser, M.D. You will decide whether to spend years struggling with your sexuality. You will decide what kind of caviar you want to eat on board Elton John’s yacht.
CHOOSE correctly and you’ll find fame, fortune, and true love. Choose incorrectly and you’ll find misery, heartbreak, and a guest stint on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. All this, plus magic tricks, cocktail recipes, embarrassing pictures from your time as a child actor, and even a closing song. Yes, if you buy one book this year, congratulations on being above the American average, but make that book Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography! On sale October 14, 2014.
Wait, wait, wait – you can’t tease us with a confrontation with Scott Caan like that and just expect us to wait until October to find out what that was all about. What the hell happened with Scott Caan? I bet NPH made fun of his hair. Or maybe American Outlaws. He better not have said anything about Ready to Rumble, though, because that movie is an American classic, damn it.