As you may have noticed, we’re fans of newly unveiled Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue covergirl Kate Upton — not just here, but across the UPROXX network, especially over at With Leather. So I think I speak for all of around these parts when I say that we were filled delight when we learned that she would gracing this year’s SI swimsuit cover. She’s sort of risen to prominence via the internet, and we take pride in knowing that the UPROXX family played a part in that.
With that said, the New York Times has a story out today on Kate, specifically how she deftly used social media to create a brand for herself. And as is occasionally the case with fashion pieces in the Times, the profile is chock full of quotes from loathesome, vile human beings — people who you would probably inspire you to stand up and applaud should you witness them being stoned by an angry peasant mob, or flattened by a donut truck as they crossed the street for a skinny latte.
Take, for instance, Sophia Neophitou, the person who casts the Victoria’s Secret fashion shows. Here she is explaining in the piece why Kate Upton could never be a Victoria’s Secret model.
“We would never use” Ms. Upton for a Victoria’s Secret show, Ms. Neophitou said by telephone last week from London. And, while Ms. Upton has, in fact, modeled on occasion for the company’s catalog, her look, said Ms. Neophitou, is “too obvious” to be featured in what has become the most widely viewed runway show in the world.
“She’s like a Page 3 girl,” Ms. Neophitou said, referring to the scantily clad voluptuous women featured in The Sun, a London tabloid. “She’s like a footballer’s wife, with the too-blond hair and that kind of face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy.”
In case you’re wondering what having a look that is “too obvious” means, it sounds to me like a coy way of saying that Kate Upton is too curvy, dare I say fat, to be a Victoria’s Secret model. And a “face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy?” WHERE IS YOUR SOUL, CRETIN?!?!
And then there’s Stephen Gan of something called V, who it sounds like couldn’t be bothered by our beloved Kate despite her online popularity until he found out she may have boned a couple of famous people.
“I wasn’t necessarily drawn to her because of her having been big online and having several million hits on YouTube,” said Stephen Gan, V’s editor in chief and creative director. “In fact, I first heard of her when we were having a party at the Boom Boom Room and Kate Moss’s agent called and said, ‘Can you put Kate Upton on your list?’”
Unfamiliar then with the young model, Mr. Gan searched Google and came upon the Dougie video, along with the welter of gossip items that connect Ms. Upton to celebrities like Kanye West and the New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez.
I know this isn’t anything new that hasn’t been said a trillion times already, but is it any wonder young girls today are riddled with anxieties about looks when there are monsters running fashion who actually find Kate Upton unattractive and boring? Where do these people come from? And why can’t they all just perish in a nasty truffle oil fire at the next Fashion Week?
And finally, there’s Guy Trebay, the writer of the piece, who described Upton in the following way…
Unlike the many little-known beauties now on view at New York Fashion Week — women seldom identified by more than one name (Agata, Hanaa, Frida, Joan) — Kate Upton, just 19 and resembling a 1950s pinup, but with the legs of a W.N.B.A. point guard, has arrived on the scene as a largely self-created Internet phenomenon…Sitting last week in the Manhattan offices of IMG Models, clad in tight jeans and Christian Louboutin stilettos and with her peroxided hair piled high, Ms. Upton called to mind the dumb blondes of an earlier era, women like (Jane) Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe…
DEATH. BY. FIRE. All of them.
UPDATE: Kate Upton is a national treasure.
(HT: Maura Johnston)