Keep The Nostalgia Party Going With These ‘Good Burger’ Quotes

Dan Schneider’s perpetual list of Nickelodeon programs and spin-offs (also known as the Schneider-verse) has molded kids’ senses of humor for more than 20 years. Schneider began teaching kids around the world that they could be just as funny as adults with All That in 1994, and the ball’s still rolling today with new shows.

Nick Cannon, Amanda Bynes, Drake Bell, and Ariana Grande are some of the many actors who were catapulted to new levels of respective fame after making their way through the Dan-iverse (I’m experimenting here, okay?). But none made an impact on the world that could match that of Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell.

Their chemistry was such a catalyst for humor that they often stole the show on All That and literally did so when they got their own sitcom called Kenan and Kel in 1996. Then, one of their most noteworthy sketches about a gullible fast food employee and his interactions with customers was made into a feature film called Good Burger in 1997.

But for years, fans have had to deal with a rift between the two while waiting for a reunion that almost never happened. At least until Thompson and Mitchell got together on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon last night and took everyone back to the Good Burger for some more laughs.

So, to celebrate the long-awaited event and aid the nostalgia trip everyone is currently riding, here’s a list of the best quotes from Good Burger.

“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger. Can I take your order?” – Ed

If you’ve ever worked in retail, you know that it doesn’t take long to get tired of going through the same script everyday. But Ed found a way to take something he probably said 1,000 times a day and turn it into a beloved catchphrase. Kids all across the U.S. were trying to adjust their voices to imitate his off-brand California accent and ended up sounding more like Woody the woodpecker when they got to the “ooooorder?” part.

“But you said you wanted nothing on it…” – Ed

When Ed wasn’t taking a dip in the milkshake machine for his daily strawberry Jacuzzi, he was the designated cashier for Good Burger. He was pretty capable at his job, but he admittedly took things a bit too literally. So, when a customer asked for a good burger “with nothing on it,” Ed didn’t see anything wrong with just giving him an empty bun.

But this raises the question, is it the meat that makes the burger or the bun? We may never know.

“I don’t know who you are or where I’ve seen you before or why you think you’re an attractive nurse.” – Dexter

Even though Ed and Dexter had their first interaction earlier on, this was their first actual conversation. Dexter quickly learned that Ed was a few fries short of a value meal, but was pretty harmless. Ed learned… well, Ed didn’t learn much of anything from the exchange. But that’s’ what you’d expect from the G-rated version of a stoner.

“I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, cause we’re all dudes. Hey!” – Ed

Ed treated everyone with equal ignorance. It’s a mantra, really. Too bad he was probably never smart enough to package that sh*t and sell it. Imagine corporate boardrooms and offices in Washington, D.C. full of people simultaneously saying “we’re all dudes, hey!”

“Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity… Made ya laugh!” – Ed

If you’re ever in a bad mood, just think of Grape Nose Boy. No matter how hard you try, if you watch this scene enough times, you’re going to crack a smile when you see Ed stick grapes up his nose and channel his inner Tony Manero (Saturday Night Fever). Still waiting for the outtakes where he transitions to the Staying Alive version…

That joke was not accessible to all ages of people.

“I don’t know. Sounds sort of like… [makes crinkling noises].” — Ed

When Kurt realized that the secret sauce was the key to Good Burger’s new success, he had to get his hands on it for himself and Mondo Burger. Unfortunately, bribery doesn’t work super well when you’re throwing dollar bills at an idiot. A well-meaning idiot, but an idiot all the same.

“Sorry, you surprised me…” – Ed

Believing the theory that every man has his vice, Kurt moved on from bribery to seduction by hiring Roxanne (Carmen Electra) to try and trick Ed into giving up the sauce recipe. Date night didn’t work out super well, but at least Carmen didn’t wind up getting eaten by a three-headed lava spider shark or whatever it is that she deals with in her more recent on-screen work. Hey, you think she and Dennis Rodman will ever get back together? Gosh, I hope so. Mmmm, the ’90s.

Connie Muldoon’s Order

These are the worst people to deal with from the other side of the counter. You’re stuck wondering if you want to ask them to repeat what they said and go through the entire ordeal again, or just take whatever they give you. Pretty sweet seeing Lori Beth Denberg reprise her role as Connie Muldoon. Also pretty sweet knowing that she’s not reprising that role on the regular at a Brentwood Arby’s, and that she’s still working occasionally as an actress.

“Oh yeah, I think about all kinds of stuff. Squirrels, cardboard boxes, things that are sticky.” – Ed

These are the things that often weigh on Ed’s mind: Cardboard houses for squirrels held together by glue and decorated in sticky notes. Not global warming, living paycheck to paycheck, sports, or even what’s next for him in life. Do you ever wonder what became of Ed in the future? I do.

That One Time Ed Said Something Smart

This is kind of like the Silent Bob thing where Kevin Smith wows us all with a bit of deep thoughts from the man who speaks almost no words near the end of films like Chasing Amy and Mallrats, only here, we’re witnessing a sharp thought from the boy who thinks almost no thoughts. Also, pretty sure Jay and Ed could hang.

Bonus: “Not Just Knee Deep” Dance Scene Featuring George Clinton

This video is eerily similar to “Thriller,” with the main difference being that the zombies are in medically induced states instead of being dead. And, be honest, George Clinton looks like he’d fit in at a mental institution… or a Muppet sleepover. This Parliament Funkadelic song was exposed to a new generation of fans in this scene… and by that, I mean people who were too young to see PCU.

Double Bonus: Shaq Loved Good Burger

Back in 1997, Shaq could do no wrong, and kids adored him because kids don’t hold grudges about things like making Kazaam, so of course he had a Good Burger cameo.

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