On the surface, A Christmas Story (which is a part of the Warner Bros. Holiday Gift Guide) might just seem like a slice of cinematic Norman Rockwell Americana about a boy’s Christmas experience. And yes, it is that, but there’s more that we can take away from the classic holiday film than simply a few laughs and fuzzy moments. Catch the movie enough times on cable (why else would TBS run it for a full 24 hours every December 25th?) and you’ll start to pick up that Ralphie’s pursuit of a Red Ryder air rifle can be applied to a lot of things. So, remember these Christmas Story lines when you’re going after whatever may be your own equivalent of that BB gun.
“I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!” — Ralphie
So your parent or loving partner asks you what’s on your wish list and at the top is some ridiculous item that you just know is going to be met with a furrowed brow of disapproval. Maybe it’s a Red Ryder air rifle, or samurai sword, or flame-throwing guitar, or one of those water-propelled jet packs — whatever you’re into. The point is, don’t just blurt it out like Ralphie, dummy! You have to carefully execute that unveiling of said ridiculous gift at just the right moment, otherwise you had better switch gears real quick and ask for some Tinker Toys or something.
“Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a b*tch.” — Ralphie
It’s easy to get caught up in some marketing hype and become distracted from obtaining that glorious Christmas gift that you know awaits you. Maybe it’s a crummy drawn out Ovaltine commercial as in Ralphie’s case, or maybe you feel yourself being drawn into the hypnotism of Apple’s marketing monster. Don’t get discouraged, that’s just capitalism at play. Keep focused on what you really want — that sweet Red Ryder air rifle (or whatever your adult version of that is).
“Oh fuuuuudge.” — Ralphie
As long as you’re not an on-air reporter or leading a pack of Cub Scouts you probably won’t catch as much slack as Ralphie for dropping an F-bomb. It is an adult word and you are an adult after all. But there are plenty of ways where you could shoot yourself in the foot and botch your shot at snagging that epic Christmas gift or bonus at work. You should really be nice and on your game all the time, but especially during the holidays.
“Only I didn’t say “Fudge.” I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the “F-dash-dash-dash” word!” — Adult Ralphie [narrating]
The big one. The F-dash-dash-dash word. The queen F-bomb has been dropped and now Ralphie finds himself in hot water. Now maybe you find yourself in a similar boat and have done something similarly terrible, like offended America and licked a doughnut that didn’t belong to you (looking at you, Ariana Grande). You had better come up with an excuse to justify your misstep and it had better be a good one.
“No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!” — Ralphie
This scene is one big life lesson rolled up into a ball of holiday hilarity. Sure, it tugs at the nostalgia heartstrings of visiting a mall Santa as a kid, but the message is clear: you have to ask for what you want. If you want that girl to go to the movies with you, then you had better make a move. If you want that promotion at work, then you had better make a move. Otherwise, you’re going to be stuck with a boring old football.
“Shut up.” — Ralphie
Snagging that Red Ryder air rifle/other important thing is going to come with possible missteps and moments of disappointment along the way. There are times in life when each of us will find ourselves wearing our own pink bunny pajamas dished out by the Aunt Clara’s of the world. Moments like these will inevitably bring out the haters as in Ralphie’s case when he’s laughed at by his little brother Randy. It’s best to just ignore those haters or shut them down and put that pink bunny suit where it belongs — in the trash can marked “never again.”
Stay focused, work hard, keep pushing forward when obstacles come your way and that prize you seek can be yours.
Just don’t muck it up and shoot your eye out when you do land that ultimate gift because then you’ll have to scramble for some lame story about an icicle hitting you in the eye. And nobody’s going to buy that flimsy excuse.
“Oh God! I shot my eye out!” — Adult Ralphie: [narrating]
Hope you enjoyed our look back at A Christmas Story. Our friends at Warner Bros. asked us to remind readers that A Christmas Story is available for purchase here.
