In the spirit of Sharknado 3 and our staff having B-movies on the brain, we had to put together this week’s Friday Conversation around the best damn B-flicks out there. And there are so many. From Killer Klowns from Outer Space to Hercules in New York (yes, this is a real film that stars AWWNOLD), the list is pretty much infinite.
We want to hear about your favorite B-movies. Need some examples to get the wires sparking? Take a look at some of our staff’s favorites:
Andrew Husband
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
Might as well end any and all forms of argument right now, because Buckaroo Banzai is hands-down the best B-movie ever created. While it had a massive 1984 budget of $17 million, it only pulled in $6 million at the box office. Plus, there’s the matter of marketing, as the studio didn’t have a clue in hell how to advertise the damn thing.
That’s because writer Earl Mac Rauch and director W. D. Richter created a multi-genre art house-esque film about a main character (Peter Weller) whose professions included physicist, neurosurgeon, test pilot and rock musician. Besides all that, he fought inter-dimensional aliens from “Planet 10,” led by Lord John Whorfin (John Lithgow), who took over the body of human Dr. Emilio Lizardo.
It’s so trippy, drugs are wholly unnecessary for viewing. Though I suspect watching the film while even mildly under the influence of something harmless (I dunno, bath salts?) would probably make for a rather entertaining experience.
Dan Seitz
Not many people know Dead Heat, probably the only buddy-cop zombie movie ever made. But it’s a smart movie that glories in ’80s action cliches even as it mocks them, and actually uses its concept, of a cop murdered and revived as a zombie who has 24 hours before he dissolves, in clever, funny ways. As Treat Williams’ Roger Mortis slowly comes to terms with his death, the movie ramps up the action sequences until he’s apathetically taking Uzi fire in the chest and chucking grenades like water balloons. If you haven’t seen it, find it and watch it; it’s the rare ’80s gem that’s completely of its time but still holds up.
Runners-up: Dog Soldiers, Kiss of the Dragon, Detour
Ashley Burns
The easiest pick is Hard Ticket to Hawaii, a movie that has been celebrated for iconic moments like the Frisbee dick-measuring contest and the handstand skater’s heavy doobies, but my pick is the forgotten 1990 classic Prayer of the Rollerboys. This movie was on HBO all the time when I was a kid, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Basically, the future is run by gangs, and the raddest, most-powerful gang of them all is the Rollerboys. Unfortunately, they’re also white supremacists selling an addictive drug to minority communities to sterilize them and ensure the future of the white race. But look at the way that they rollerblade in unison in those coats! Fortunately, Corey Haim and Oscar-winner Patricia Arquette team up to infiltrate the Rollerboys and have A TON of sex in the process, because you just can’t rollerblade to save mankind without getting a little freaky. Did Hell Comes to Frogtown teach us nothing?
Stacey Ritzen
Although I haven’t watched it in years, my all-time favorite B-movie is probably still Jack Frost. No, not that one, even though the irony that a feel-good family movie about Michael Keaton dying and coming back to his family in the form of a snowman coming out within a year of another movie with the same name about a serial killer dying and coming back in the form of a snowman is certainly not lost.
Basically, as I mentioned, Jack Frost involves a serial killer whose name is literally Jack Frost, who was being transported in an executioners vehicle that gets into an accident with a tanker containing genetic material. Jack ends up getting melted with whatever was in the tanker, and his remains somehow fuse with the snow, creating a serial killer snowman who goes on to terrorize a small mountain town called “Snowmonton” and the sheriff who arrested him. Shannon Elizabeth at one point gets raped with Jack Frost’s carrot nose as he murders her, which should tell you all you need to know about this movie.
With these examples in mind: Let us know what your favorite B-movie is and why it’s worthy.
Good luck topping everything above.
