You’d think that Pete Davidson, fresh from his first year on Saturday Night Live as one of the youngest cast members ever, would have plenty to do during the break besides marathon a couple of Harry Potter movies and live-tweet them.
You’d be wrong, as Pete Davidson even notes in his own live-tweet. He’s got nothing else to do.
However, he’s a huge Harry Potter fan; he’s seen every movie at least four times. He knows what he’s talking about, so when he says that Harry Potter is a “f*cking legend” or that Draco Malfoy is a “f*ck boy,” he’s saying so with absolute authority.
Davidson spent several hours yesterday live-tweeting Philosopher’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets. Here were the 21 best tweets from his mini-marathon:
It blows my mind that it’s 2015 and Hogwarts doesn’t actually exist yet. What the fuck are they waiting for
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Seriously. Scientists. Flying broomsticks. Get on it.
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Draco Malfoy is a straight up fuck boy
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Harry is at Hogwarts for 2 days and already becomes the Seeker. Muthafuckas a legend
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Oh no big deal. Just 11 year old Harry Potter just fucked up a giant troll and saved Hermiones life. FUCKING LEGEND.
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Put a spell on my broom stick during Quidditch ? No fucking problem says Harry Potter as he catches the golden snitch with his mouth.
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Dumbledore catches Harry out past curfew lookin at the mirror. He dont get him in trouble, he chills with him cuz he knows what the fucks up
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Draco tried to rat out Harry and the gang for goin to Hagrids but ended up getting detention as well. Professor McGonagall is a true G.
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Turns out Professor Quirrell was a piece of shit from the jump. Voldermort lives in the back of his head and Harry bout to fuck shit up
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Voldermort asks Harry to join him. Harry says suck my dick you ain’t getting the sorcerer’s stone.
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Harry wins. Gryffindor wins. Voldermort ain’t shit. See ya next year Hogwarts
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
All the girls are swooning over Gilderoy Lockhart the new teacher at Hogwarts but I can already tell he’s a fuck boy
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
We meet Dracos fuck boy father. Luscious fuck boy Malfoy. He’s a dick like his son and he slipped a book into Ginny Weasley’s cauldron.
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Someone put a curse on a bludger and Harry still fuckin catches the golden snitch even with a broken arm and wins Quidditch. FUCKING LEGEND
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Gilderoy Lockhart is such a pussy it’s like stop it already. The whole school knows you suck
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Harry can now talk to snakes. Everyone is creeped out. I’m not. Just wish Harry knew how to talk to bitches as well
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Luscious fuck boy Malfoy aka Dracos dad just got Dumbledore suspended from Hogwarts but Dumbledore took it like a G.He aint worried bout nun
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Ginny Weasley was jus taken down to the Chamber of Secrets where it said her bones will lie there forever. It. Just. Got. Fuckin. Personal.
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
The Chamber of Secrets was located in the girls bathroom this whole time and Moaning Murtle never said shit. Fuckin bitch coulda saved time
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Harry freed Dobby from the Malfoy family by giving him a dirty ass sock. Then Dobby and Harry made Luscious look like a pussy. Swag
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
Voldemort is defeated again. Dumbledore is back at Hogwarts and once again Harry saves the day and is a muthafuckin legend.
— Pete Davidson (@petedavidson) May 21, 2015
(Via Twitter)
