Justin Bieber Has Joined The Cast Of ‘Zoolander 2,’ And… Ugh… Wants A Film Career

04.29.15 3 years ago 54 Comments

Some of us people over 30 just want to be left alone and not have to care about Justin Bieber or anything he does, but it’s impossible these days. Fresh off his Comedy Central roast, the Bieb has taken his goodwill publicity tour to Zoolander 2, tweeting the above teaser image early this morning. Bieber also wrote on his Facebook page, “Working on something big right now in Europe. To learn more follow me on Fahlo. He is so hot right now :-)” whatever the f*ck that means. Fahlo is apparently an app, but I’m not sure whether that has anything to do with the Zoolander thing or whether Bieber’s spam function is just on the fritz again.

Ben Stiller “confirmed” Bieber’s involvement, posting to his Instagram the same teaser image. Zoolander 2 is set to open February 12th, 2016.

Might Bieber have a future in film?

“He’s definitely interested in movies and starting a film career,” a source says. [E! News]

(*pounds head against desk*)

The only people who care about this kid are tween girls and older dudes trying to use him to seem relevant. The rest of us are just stuck with him in some horrible pop culture waiting room. I don’t need to see his hilarious cameos in comedy film, where five minutes of his bit-ruining acting add contemporary flair and a thimble full of novelty value to a scene that might otherwise have contained actual humor.

Did you see his Comedy Central Roast? By the way, why is Comedy Central roasting Justin Bieber? Not only did they roast him, it was the most ass-kissing roast I’ve ever seen on that channel, and in the past they’re roasted people who actually did things. Every set ended with the comic telling Bieber how great he was (at what? being on YouTube?) and most of Hannibal Burress’s set (which actually had some real bite) seems to have been cut, as if Bieber’s management had final edit. Which is actually the only way to wrap my mind around why that roast exists in the first place. Pete Davidson had probably the best set of the night, and then ended it with:

“Seriously, Justin, I just wanted to say how cool it is for you to be doing this. Like, you’re the dude for our generation… like, it’s just so cool to see someone our age do exactly what he wants to do. And, you just like took over the world. And it really is an inspiration.”

Like… what’s cool about him doing this? It’s cool that he’s using a room full of up-and-coming comedians and an entire basic cable channel as his personal PR wing? And then he gets to play the “good sport” and give an apology? And then, the best part, people actually f*cking congratulate him for it? Like, we’re supposed to congratulate him for his realness in the midst of a completely manufactured spectacle stage managed by his team of publicists? I get that he’s famous, but why do we all have to be forced to participate in it? When Chevy Chase was falling down stairs on SNL, he didn’t have to pretend to trip over Leif Garrett.

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