First, a fact: No one has ever been or will ever be as good at Twitter as Sylvester Stallone was in 2010. He was an absolute delight, just firing off any old thought that popped into his head at the moment, on subjects ranging from movies to politics to life to the haters. Oh my, did Sly have things to share about the haters.
Magical, all of it, forever. I could just sit here and post 2010 Stallone tweets all day and I would never get bored. Don’t believe me? Look, here’s another one.
But that’s not the point. I mean, it is the point, kind of, and should be the point of more of our conversations, in general, but it’s not what makes any of this timely and topical. What makes it timely and topical is that the Oscars were two nights ago, and Stallone was there because of his nomination for Creed, which means he walked the Red Carpet, which means he was on Ryan Seacrest’s home turf, which means I get to remind you that Sylvester Stallone kind of maybe thinks Ryan Seacrest can beat up action star and martial arts expert Jet Li.
You see, in addition to ruminating about the haters and the state of the American political system, Sylvester Stallone also used to tweet all sorts of wild Expendables casting speculation. Sometimes this got him in trouble, like the time in 2013 he called Bruce Willis greedy and lazy, but mostly it was harmless. And sometimes it was about him remembering seeing Ryan Seacrest work out one time.
Fair enough. We’re all having fun here. And close enough on the Twitter handle. But apparently at least one Twitter user took issue with the suggestion, and Sly was having none of it.
Beware. And that thought — the one about Ryan Seacrest beating up Jet Li — seems to have bounced around a bit and eventually made a nice little home somewhere inside Stallone’s brain, because he followed that tweet up with this one, two days later.
Let’s pause here for a moment and think about something. Let’s think about Jet Li getting wind of these tweets. Let’s think about, say, one of Jet Li’s friends walking up to him and saying, “Hey, uh, Sylvester Stallone is tweeting about how Ryan Seacrest… you know, the American Idol host… about how that guy could kick your ass. Yeah, he just tweeted it again.” Let’s think about the waves and waves of confusion that must have washed over Jet Li for days as he tried to make sense of why this was happening. Let’s really, really think about that.
But Stallone didn’t stop there. Oh no. He tweeted this 17 minutes later.