Judging by the trailer, Zoolander 2 is about how two washed up supermodels come to terms with aging in a youth-obsessed industry while trying to find out who keeps killing the most beautiful people in the world. Here to double down on that first theme is Alexanya Atoz, played by Kristen Wiig, who has messed up her own face in the name of youth and beauty, and claims in this spoof ad that her secret is a product called “Youth Milk.”
“Is your skin dry and cracked?” asks Atoz. “Then make it wet and shi-o-ny (shiny).”
Along with a terrifying mask of a face, Atoz has a unique talent for making every fifth word sound dirty, or to give them more syllables than they actually have with her constant mispronunciations. For example, “sponge” becomes “spo-yi-yonge,” and she calls her lab technicians “cooks,” pronounced “cox,” who “cawking up special lotions you can pump all over your face.”
Perhaps Atoz’s huge lips get in the way of her sounding at all intelligible. Regardless, she claims, “I have no fillers, botox, or surgeries.” Her “radiance, effervescence, and relischisvaicedsh” is all thanks to Youth Milk.
Beauty is not azy. Alexanya Atoz would know.
(via Splitsider)
