Pictured: Lady Gaga and her merry band of panda flautists. Frolic free my two-toned fleshy brethren.
Lady Gaga appeared on a Japanese talk show earlier this week dressed as a panda, and, as the only Uproxx writer with “Panda” in his name, I qualify as the resident expert on panda matters. For example, pandas are indigenous to China, not Japan, which might explain the hosts’ initial confusion when she revealed her outfit. Pandas only digest 20% of what they eat and have 11 distinct calls (10 of which are variations of “Why am I always hungry?” and “Why am I always pooping?” The other one is “Kill all humans.”) Also, pandas never buy Lady Gaga albums because they are filthy bamboo-biters who hate joy. These are facts.
The videos of Gaga [or GAGAPANDA, as she called herself] on the Japanese show are below, but don’t expect them to make any sense. To clear up at least a little confusion, we are also posting a picture narrative explaining a couple of Lady Gaga’s crazy outfits. The series was made by WWIAO, who seems to have deleted most of her site, but we kept a backup of this important Gaga story for posterity.
Highlight: at 1:08 in the second video she spazzes out over Hello Kitty.
I want more like this!
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