Often times, when I’m alone and in bed and all the lights are out and it’s quiet, I stare up at the ceiling and think, “What would I be willing to stab someone for?” In those quiet thinking sessions I’ve come to determine that there are three things I’d be willing to shank you, dear UPROXX reader, or anyone else, for.
-Taking the name of Drew Brees, aka “Breesus,” in vain.
-Serving me something labeled “gumbo” that is red or any color not brown.
-Refusing to cuddle with me after sex. (What can I say, I’m a cuddler, dammit!)
So basically I’d be willing to stab someone over food, football, and post-coital affection. Perfectly reasonable, right? With that said, this happened in Cleveland on New Years Eve…
Det. Marty Compton of the Parma Police Department tells Fox 8 News that Ronald Deaver, 31, of Parma, was arrested and charged with felonious assault for allegedly stabbing a 48-year-old Garfield Heights man following an argument.
Det. Compton says the fight began because the victim did not know that singer Beyonce’s husband is rapper Jay-Z.
What would you be willing to stab someone for?
I want more like this!
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