Important Drake V. Chris Brown Update!

As you’ve probably heard by now, the fight of the century where there can be no winners went down last night when Chris Brown and Drake got into a skirmish, allegedly over the rights to Rihanna’s surely other-worldly honey pie. According to eyewitnesses, the emo-y Drake punched the impossibly loathesome Brown in the face and smacked him with a bottle of liquor, leaving  Brown — who has been virtually begging for an ass-kicking from someone not named Drake for years now — with a nasty chin gash.

But this afternoon Drake’s publicist issued a statement denying that he personally had any involvement in the you-can’t-make-this-up…

“Drake did not participate in any wrongdoing of any kind last night at W.i.P. He was on his way out of the club when the altercation began. He did not engage in any activity which resulted in injury to person or damage to property.”

Drake’s publicity team is obviously whack for not recognizing that being known as a guy who beat the crap out of Chris Brown to defend Rihanna’s honor is a fantastic career move.

Also, via the Tumblrs, here’s a photographic diagram of how things went down last night

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