OMG did you hear the totally scandalous news that Kate Upton and P. Diddy were seen “sucking face” at a Miami club and are now, like, totally dating?!?! Well, now they’re all, “OH NO WE DI-ENT!”
For realz, first Diddy was all, “Kate Upton? I don’t know no Kate Upton! Who is she…a dry cleaner or something? I know a Blake Runyun, but I don’t know no Kate Upton!”
And then Kate Upton was all, “No, we never made out…we just sipped Ciroc and exchanged oral. We never ate and we never kissed.”
And with that an American fairy tale pairing for the ages appears to have disintegrated. The end.