‘Tired Of Being Famous For A Mistake’, Chris Brown Will Now Take His Ball And Go Home (FINGERS CROSSED!)

By: 08.06.13  •  14 Comments

(via Getty Image)

Sad news, America. Chris Brown, one of history’s most terrifying monsters recently seen diabolically teaming with one of the world’s worst charities — seemingly just to up his villainy quotient — has had enough of all you haterz and will retire to a quiet farm in Ohio or someplace else where unrepentant acts of domestic violence aren’t frowned upon, according to Chris Brown on Twitter.

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Seeing as though Chris is a young man and will likely need to find something else to do with his time, we have a few occupational suggestions to offer…

– Hungry bear tickler.

– Poisonous snake de-fanger.

– Parachute-less skydiver.

– Crocodile wrestler.

– Person who swims through pools of chum in shark-infested waters.

Then again, Brown will probably delete the tweets before the day is over and will resume making sh*tty autotuned music for teenage girls tomorrow. Sigh.

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