It’s all but a done deal that Bruno Mars will entertain your 14-year-old sister while you’re busy regretting eating that fifth sliced pork sandwich during the Super Bowl XLVIII halftime show on February 2, 2014. The only thing left to do is for Mars to dot the i’s, cross the t’s, and be gifted a bowler derby with Peyton Manning’s face on it. But another, better musical act has entered the previously one-horse race at the last second, whether they want to or not: Gwar.
Consequence of Sound altered us to a petition to “Allow GWAR to perform the 2015 Super Bowl Halftime Show,” because if you don’t, MAY MAGGOTS LIE DORMANT IN YOUR LIMP, DEAD C*CK UNTIL THE END OF TIME.
We don’t want another year of sitting around talking through a muted, boring NFL Super Bowl halftime show. We want something different. We want a real spectacle that only GWAR can provide. Doesn’t the NFL want more viewers? Don’t advertisers want more people paying attention? This way everyone wins.
Plus, GWAR’s relationship with American football is one of the strongest in music. Front man Dave Brockie writes a football column for MetalSucks.com called “Necessary Roughness” even the “The Dan Patrick Show” has an Oderous mask on display. It’s been suggested by Sports Illustrated that GWAR should become mascots! NFL must listen to the people. GWAR is more American than apple pie. (Via)
Beefcake the Mighty’s helmet could even be used by some GRITTY MCGRITTYSON in a pinch.
(via Getty Image) (Via)