Despite Bill Simmons’ 500,000-word plea to the contrary, the Eagles remain one of the most aggressively mediocre arena bands of all-time. It’s not that they’re all-around terrible so much as they’re like music version of a fat man continually eating cotton candy — no matter how hard he tries, he’ll never fill up, but the sugar will lay waste to his teeth. What I’m saying is, the Eagles will give you cavities. And maybe cause you to get stabbed.
According to a North Charleston police report, 54-year-old Vernett Bader was charged with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature after officers showed up at her Brossy Circle home to investigate reports of an assault with a knife.
When officers arrived, Bader was standing outside the house with another man who told police the victim had several cuts on his arms and hands. Bader caused all of the cuts, the report states.
When police talked to the victim, he said he had been listening to the Eagles when Bader told him that she did not want to hear the classic rock band’s songs. So the man told her to shut up, the report states.
Bader responded by allegedly getting a 14-inch serrated bread knife and swung it at the man repeatedly, the report states. The victim wrestled the knife away from Bader, but she came back with another knife before the victim could run and lock himself in the bathroom. (Via)
Listen to the Eagles, get stabbed? Seems fair to me. Obligatory:
Looks like someone forgot to *takes sunglasses off* take it easy.