Popular opinions aren’t called “unanimous opinions” because there’s always someone who disagrees. And that’s especially true in the pop culture and entertainment worlds; no matter how much of a consensus there is around how great a band, movie, book, TV show, etc. is, there are always people willing to represent the vocal dissent.
Now, it’s our turn to be those people.
Listen, we at Uproxx Music don’t believe in judgments – there isn’t music that is “good” or “bad,” just music that you like or don’t like, and no person’s opinion is any more or less valid than another’s. The following musicians are ones that have achieved the highest levels of fame and infamy, ones who have been so successful commercially and critically that they are written into music’s history book. But while we respect that, we just… don’t like them! If you do, great. Tell us why you disagree in the comments (it should be noted that there are disagreements on these within the Uproxx Music staff). And also feel free to tell us which iconic music acts you just don’t “get.” It’s a safe space.
Eminem
As far as actual technical skill goes, Eminem is rarified air among rap’s greatest of all time. And that is worth something, no doubt. However, flow/delivery are merely one building block of what makes an emcee. While Em has mastered the former, his content has grown more and more stale over the length of his career, so much so that revisiting his greater body of work reveals that he shot out of the gate strong but was immediately gassed. His first few albums took on motifs that looked inward and explored something. They were morbid, and oftentimes in poor taste, but at least seemed creative. Since then, he’s found himself recycling the same ideas over and over again. (How many times can he remake “Till I Collapse” for another MMA fighter’s walkout song? Plenty, apparently!)
Of his seven major label releases (eight if we’re counting the 8 Mile Soundtrack), two of those could be considered classics – The Marshall Mathers LP and The Eminem Show. That means that 75 percent of his catalog is fair/mediocre or below. That’s a lot. Could you say that about Nas? Or Big? Or Pac? Or Jay? Or Snoop? Or Outkast? Or Scarface? Or UGK? Or Rakim? Or KRS-One? Or even more modern rappers like Common, Ghostface, Kanye, or even Drake and Nicki? All these rhymers have strong catalogs at least the majority of the way through. Eminem’s, to me, does not hold up in the light.
And that’s not even considering how poorly many of his lyrics about violence against women have aged. So, I think I’ll just listen to maybe all of those artists before I throw on Em again. – Michael Depland
Bruce Springsteen
This is less “I don’t like Bruce Springsteen” as it is “I am numb to Bruce Springsteen.” On the surface, in a vacuum, Bruce is perfectly OK to me. I don’t love him, I don’t hate him. I can see why he’s popular – he sings songs about working-class lives that people can relate to, with an added dramatic flair that makes listeners feel as if their lives are equally cinematic. He was an underdog who sings about underdogs, and everyone loves underdogs.
That being said, when you grow up in New Jersey, as I did, hearing Bruce Springsteen is like breathing air – so routine you begin to not notice it anymore. He’s everywhere – blaring out of open car windows, saxophone soloing you to death in the grocery store, being lovingly emulated by cover bands at any bar you walk into. I was six months old when Born In The U.S.A. was released, so even though my parents preferred The Beatles (mom) and Black Sabbath (dad), I’ve absorbed the Boss through osmosis all my life. You know how they say the more a provocative word is used, the less power it has? The same holds true here. Springsteen’s music is supposed to stir and inspire, but I’ve become desensitized to it. And that’s the problem: Springsteen relies on the emotionality of his songs. He’s not a technical wizard who can wow you with his virtuoso talents, and he’s not a particularly groundbreaking songwriter. So when he fails to effectively pull at your heartstrings, there’s nothing to fall back on. Maybe in another life it’d be different for he and I, but it’s not, and all I hear when others are singing their lungs out to “Born To Run” is ambient noise, nothing more than a rustling wind or lightly running water. – Tom Mantzouranis
The Doors
The Doors are a beloved band led by the cultishly adored Jim Morrison. It is Mr. Mojo Risin’ himself that is the real problem here. Musically, The Doors are mediocre, a little dull and meandering but generally tolerable. Morrison, though, is an overwrought singer who is somehow a worse lyricist. I know it isn’t original to slam Morrison for his 8th-grade-level poetry, but that doesn’t make it any less true. – Chris Morgan
Dave Matthews Band
A few things are sacrosanct in central Ohio: Buckeye football, Schmidt’s, and Dave Matthews Band. The appeal of the last one eludes me. They are, for whatever reason, a draw. Without relying on ticket-sale statistics (because statistics are for NERDS), I felt everyone around me got wasted and trekked to see the group play Germain Ampitheatre and later Crew Stadium. Peoples’ plans were made months in advance for the show. For what? To hear Dave attempt all those awkward notes he could never hit? “Everyday?” An ersatz E-Street Band? I don’t know. I suppose DMB’s a thing you just experience like Phish, but at least the Vermonters make their gigs spectacles. DMB is sanitized mid-life-crisis jazz-rock for the #AllLivesMatter crowd, but maybe that’s why I don’t live there anymore. – Ryan Joseph
AC/DC
It’s not like I don’t like AC/DC, it’s more like, meh, I don’t care for AC/DC. I see how they might appeal to someone and, sure, if the right mood strikes me, if I hear it at an exact moment in time when it seems fitting, I can get down with “Thunderstruck.” But even then I won’t listen to the whole song. I’ll listen to just enough to get the gist. That’s all I need. That’s all I need of any AC/DC song, which is saying something when you consider that the majority of their songs are maybe 3 or 4 minutes long. AC/DC is just kind of boring and, I’m sorry, all of their songs sound the same. – Ryan O’Connell
Pearl Jam
I never really understood why I was never a Pearl Jam fan. Whenever they do anything, the rock world pretty much stops and everyone focuses on them. All my friends like them, and we generally have the same taste in music, so I’ve always tried to force myself into liking them, which is never a good sign; if you don’t like something, you don’t like it. I can remember buying their albums and listening to them for a week straight but still not really enjoying them. They’re a band of great musicians, but they’re great musicians making songs I just can’t get into. – James Sullivan
Crosby, Stills, Nash (And Sometimes Young)
I can understand the iconic nature of Neil Young, sure. It’s the other members of this supergroup that escape my comprehension. Not to mention that the band’s later, twilight years have been marred with the exploits of David Crosby. When I think of music that defines a generation and makes me dislike said generation, I think of CSN. Like acid-tipped bullets of peace, love, and recreational drugs right in my damn ears. And as with most things, I think I dislike the fans more than the actual group (but not by much). A close second would be Train, but that’s like kicking a legless cat. – Andrew Roberts
New Kids On The Block
I was originally going with a band from the ‘70s like the Eagles, because most classic-rock popularity and eternal success leaves me baffled. But the one that confuses the hell out of me and consistently drives me up the wall is the lasting legacy of the f*cking New Kids on the Block, because those middle-aged men can still put together a tour in 2015 and grown women lose their minds. Seriously, did you see that video of Mark Wahlberg joining them on stage at Madison Square Garden? There might as well have been a flood alert. But why? These dudes have aged like baseball gloves left in a hot car and their songs were never really good in the first place. Maybe for ‘80s standards “Hangin’ Tough” was catchy, but listen to it today. Each line leaves me muttering one syllable statements of disgust like Mona Lisa Saperstein. Nothing good came from the initial success of NKOTB and nothing good comes from the lingering nostalgic CHA-CHING sound they make every time a 40-year-old woman shrieks at the site of Joey’s abs. Let’s drop these guys off on an island with a 20-year supply of Crystal Pepsi and never speak of them again. – Ashley Burns
KISS
I get the appeal of KISS. They have one of the biggest fist-pump anthems of all time in “Rock and Roll All Nite” and the facepaint, costumes, and stage pyrotechnics all make for a great show. But musically, the band doesn’t hold a candle to say, Black Sabbath or Led Zeppelin. KISS is obviously more than a one-hit wonder — they wouldn’t have survived this long or made the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame otherwise — but there’s more to a song catalog than a few karaoke favorites. Would I listen their Greatest Hits on a road trip if there was nothing else? Sure, but you wouldn’t catch me listening to anything but “Rock and Roll All Nite” (or perhaps “Beth”) otherwise. – Eddie Fu
Pink Floyd
“Wish You Were Here” is a nifty song. I won’t turn “Us and Them” off when I hear it on the radio. The Piper at the Gates of Dawn is enjoyable. Otherwise, Pink Floyd is the tepid bathwater of bands for me. They’re not objectionable; just boring and meandering, like a yawning lullaby. Also, a friend of mine in high school made me sync up Dark Side of the Moon and The Wizard of Oz while he got stoned, which might be why I don’t “get” them, MAN. He now regularly goes to Phish shows. I’d rather listen to Phish. – Josh Kurp
