You may have heard the news, or rumor or whatever we need to be calling it at the moment, that Taylor Swift, the reigning queen of pop music, reportedly broke up with her boyfriend Calvin Harris. Even if you have no idea who Harris is, you probably heard this news. However, that’s not what got people so worked up over this story. For, you see, the scuttlebutt is that Swift broke up with Harris because he allegedly went to a massage parlor of ill repute. You know, the kind that will give you a “happy ending,” in the parlance of our times.
There were photos of Harris leaving said establishment, referred to as a “Thai massage parlor,” which can’t make Thai people who don’t give happy endings particularly enthused. There was also more discussion than you would expect about whether or not the parlor in question actually has something in common with that “massage parlor” in Inherent Vice, which made it very clear that they were happy-ending friendly.
Anyway, Harris has now emerged to give his side of this story, and, to put it mildly, he’s not happy about it. He tweeted one simple message: “It’s not going to be a ‘happy ending’ for everyone I sue for defamation of character for all these bullsh*t stories bye bye.”
https://twitter.com/CalvinHarris/status/653667241251069952
Plays on words on fun. Harris is not happy if you are intimating that he’s getting sexual favors from Thai masseuses. We probably haven’t heard the last of this, whether you care or not.
