Watching 13 episodes of Fuller House, Netflix’s sequel series to Full House that’s impressively worse than the original, turns you into a human Etch-A-Sketch. One second your will to live is there, then Joey Gladstone shakes you up, and it’s gone. You can attempt to replicate what you’ve lost, but it will never be the same. The only good thing about marathoning the show — outside of one stupid-fun wrestling episode — is you get to hear Carly Rae Jepsen 26 times: 13 during the opening credits, 13 during the end.
The Grease: Live standout, whose E•MO•TION was named the third best album of 2015, performs the show’s theme, “Everywhere You Look,” with an autotune and “lah lah” update. It’s not great, but that’s not Jepsen’s fault; her vocals are smothered in production. So, she recently performed a stripped down acoustic take on On Air with Ryan Seacrest. It’s the preferred version, because it has two things going for it: Carly Rae Jepsen, and no Fuller House.
Somewhere out there, Jesse Frederick wonders what she can do with the Family Matters theme song.
