Howard Stern threw himself a belated 60th birthday party last night at New York’s Hammerstein Ballroom, and he invited the oddest assortment of guests. The famous faces you’d expect to be there were there, people like Louis C.K., David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Robert Downey Jr., Bon Jovi, etc., but how to explain Train as the house band? Or Neil Young? Jewel? Adam Levine covering/ruining “Purple Rain”?
Take a look at the full (sic’d) guest list, and feel bad about your last party.
* Rob Zombie performs “American Nightmare”.
* George Takei introduces the Howard Stern Show.
* Jimmy Kimmel Hosting. Train is the House Band.
* The Black Keys performs “Gold On The Ceiling”.
* Jeff Probst holds the mic and walks the audience.
* Barbara Walters, Tracy Morgan, Larry King, Robert Downey Jr, Tan Mom.
* Joan Rivers & Jeff Ross roast Howard & Robin.
* John Mayer performs “Bob Dylan — Like A Rolling Stone”.
* Video Message from Ellen Degeneres & Jerry Seinfeld.
* Kathy Griffin & Chris Christie speak to Howard.
* Jon Bon Jovi performs “Wanted Dead Or Alive”.
* Jimmy Kimmel introduces Steven Tyler, Heidi Klum, JD Harmeyer.
* JD Harmeyer introduces Adam Levine who performs “Prince — Purple Rain”.
* Louie C.K. performs and gets interviewed by Howard.
* Video Message from Matt Lauer & Al Roker.
* Train performs “Drive By” and “Led Zeppelin — The Ocean”.
* Howard talks to Katie Couric, Jay Monahan, and Whoopie Goldberg.
* Video Messages from The Beach Boys, Neil Young, and James Hetfield.
* Bryan Cranston shows up and introduces Jimmy Fallon!!!
* Jimmy Fallon takes shots with the crew and does impressions.
* Seth Myers, Fred Armisen, and Lena Dunham say Happy Birthday.
* Sara Silverman & Natalie Maines perform an original song for Howard.
* Howard interviews David Letterman.
* Video Message from Arnold Schwarzenegger.
* Katie Couric introduces Jewel.
* Jewel performs “Silver Nickels & Golden Dimes”.
* Video Message from George Clooney.
* Rosie O’Donnell performs an original song for Howard.
* Jewel performs “Fleetwood Mac — Landslide”.
* John Stamos speaks and introduces John Fogerty.
* John Fogerty performs “Bad Moon Rising” and “Fortunate Son”.
* Maria Menounos gets to interview Howard.
* Eli Braden, Psych, and Little Mikie perform Robin Songs.
* Robin Quivers performs a rebuttal song to Eli Braden, Psych, and Little Mikie.
* Daniel Mendelson performs “Bababooey Opera”.
* Video Message from Paul McCartney.
* Dan Patrick pays tribute to Howard.
* Dave Grohl performs “Foo Fighters — Everlong”.
* Dave Grohl gets interviewed then performs “Foo Fighters — My Hero”.
* Video Message from Kathie Lee Gifford.
* Beth & the audience sing Happy Birthday.
* Robin gives a heartfelt speech in tribute to Howard.
* Robert Downey Jr speaks to Howard and introduces music guest.
* Steven Tyler & Slash perform “Aerosmith — Dream On”.
* Howard makes a final speech to thank the audience.
* Steven Tyler & Dave Grohl perform “Aerosmith — Walk This Way”.
It’s a shame Paul McCartney couldn’t have actually been there, to meet his idol, Tan Mom.
“My Hero” by Dave Grohl
“Walk This Way” by Steven Tyler w/ Dave Grohl
“Lonely Boy” by the Black Keys
“Stop the Clock” by Sarah Silverman
Or if you’ve got four hours, listen to the whole thing.
Banner via Getty Image