Dear Eurovision, Why Didn’t The Grandmas Singing 'Party For Everybody' Win?

Like soccer and Jerry Lewis’s later work, Eurovision is something that’s huge “over there,” but barely spoken about here in the United States. Basically, it’s American Idol, but with 42 countries (all apart of the European Broadcasting Union) instead of one, each of which picks an often kitschy act to perform in front of hundreds of millions of people. And most of the time, just like Idol, the winner goes on to do nothing. In fact, in Eurovision’s five-decade-plus history, it’s likely you’ve only heard of four of the winners: ABBA (1974), Brotherhood of Man (1976), Celine Dion (1988), and Katrina and the Waves (1997).

Over the weekend, Sweden’s Loreen won the 52nd annual Eurovision with the slick, trance-like “Euphoria,” a big and blustery, sure-to-be club hit everywhere not named the United States. BUT: the real winner (in my heart) was Buranovskiye Babushki, a group of Russian grandmas who sang, “Party for Everybody.” Sample lyric: “Come on and dance/Come on and boom boom.” They’re like LMFAO, but awesome and old, and they plan to build a church with any money they receive from Eurovision because, “Grandmothers do not need glory and wealth.”

Do you think they need groupies? Watch the songs below.

Actually won:

Should have won:

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