
(via Getty Image)
If you went to bed early and are just waking up, you may have missed the news that Beyonce unexpectedly released a new album last night. This is something one who makes music can do in 2013, thanks to the Internet.
“Ah, it’s a Thursday night. It’s kind of cold outside. I’m getting bored just sitting here on this cheetah skin rug drinking hot cocoa with Jay. F*ck it, I’mma drop a new record!”
That’s probably how this all came to be.
ANYWAY, there will lots of things written about this in the coming days, and much of it will be insufferable as all hell. So just do yourself a favor and skip all of it and just read this Instagram comment. (Some context: Jay and Bey recently announced they were going vegan for most of December.)

Meanwhile, those cupcakes do look pretty damn good…

(Via Jack Seale)
Fuck a vegan cupcake. #PUBLIXBAKERY4LYFE
+1
God I miss Publix and their heavenly subs. Stupid California and their stupid everything.
Sorry, you lost me at “Vegan.”
Gale Boetticher stole her recipe for vegan s’mores.
THOSE AREN’T THE CUPCAKES WE WANT YOU SHOWING US, BEY. (amirite?)
You aren’t wrong.
I MEAN, SHIT.
That’s going to be my new go-to phrase.
whaddayamean?
Dear God. That brought a tear to my eye. Vitriol like that is so delicious.
I’m confused. What is the news about? She dropped vegan cupcakes on iTunes last night and took a dump on someone?
In a perfect world this ^ is what would have happened
so wait, was the commenter mad? i honestly have no idea
So happy she’s mad? So mad she’s happy?
Sarcastic/ mean spirited, yet genuine praise. I recognized it from how Rihanna fans talk about Rihanna on Twitter. It’s confusing as hell.
2013 is the year of the extreme fandom.
That commenters fake-mad about spending how she now MUST spend money on videos and music instead of lunch where she couldn’t afford Walmart cupcakes let alone Vegan was righteous. I MEAN, SHIT.
(run-on sentence intentional)
God best bless hisself for bring you and your beautiful powers of ghetto-interweb slang translatorational heavenlyness into this world.
Bitch, how you ain’t the hobbit again?
Right right right right right. Love you. Kisses.
I dont listen to Beyonce but am thinking about illegally downloading her album just so I can immediately delete it. Just for shits and giggles.
I like the way you think.
Nothing says “classy” like “F*ck it, I’mma drop a new record!”
Worked for Stevie in the 70’s
sefsdfsg
That made little to no sense to the English speaking world.
“but we didn’t have not nann single”
but to be fair we didn’t NOT have not nann single, either…. so theres that.
LOUD NOISES!
From a commenter on another site;
[img.gawkerassets.com]
She’ll never top this: [www.youtube.com]
be on the lookout for Brandon Stroud. Someone said the word vegan so I’m sure Brandon will get offended by something.
+1
Stans be Stanning.
I haven’t been this confused since they had a funeral for the word “Def”
Wait, what is the difference between cupcakes and vegan cupcakes? Blueberry, banana nut, oatmeal raisin, bran, cranberry pecan, cinnamon swirl, et cetera. No meat in any of those. Do they make meat cupcakes?
Oversimplifying, but Veganism is vegetarianism to the extreme. Basically, it’s not just the all veggie, Fruit (nuts?) diet, but they also take into account the process by which each is produced. Think a traditional Kosher diet, but for Vegetarians, complete with their own rules and regulations on how and what they can eat.
picky people are picky.
People buy albums?
that is sooo 1999