Beefs! Who doesn’t love them? No one, that’s who! Also, who doesn’t love that beefs are called “beefs” instead of, say, “squabbles” or “disagreements” or “arguments.” No one, that’s who! Beefs is just so much better. I just get giddy whenever I hear the word.
With that said, this morning brings word that two of the biggest stars in the world may be beefing over unreturned phone calls. About such, let me say this: Look, Jay-Z, I know you’re Jay-Z and all, and in the 21st century people text more than they call, but when Bob Deniro calls you you BETTER DAMN WELL RETURN HIS CALLS!
Reports the NY Post:
Spies say “Godfather II” and “Taxi Driver” star De Niro gave Jay a dressing-down in a roomful of celebs including Martin Scorsese because the rap mogul had refused to return De Niro’s calls.
Sources add that Jay tried to joke his way out of the situation, and even his wife, Beyoncé, tried to intervene, but De Niro wouldn’t back down.
“Bob wasn’t in any mood to make polite conversation,” the spy says. “He told Jay that if somebody calls you six times, you call them back. It doesn’t matter who you are, that is just rude.”
When Jay-Z tried to make a joke of it, saying he is terrible on the phone, a source says, “De Niro kept telling him that he thinks he’s the man, but that he was disrespectful.’ ”
“Beyoncé came over, but that didn’t calm Bob down,” the source said, adding that afterward, “It was the talk of the party. Everyone was saying there’s only one star in New York bigger and badder than Jay-Z, and that’s Robert De Niro. He can be quite scary when he’s angry.”
Now, the question I have is this: is this the greatest beef of all-time? I’m inclined to say yes. These are, after all, two titans of modern culture, though Deniro is, admittedly, not what he used to be, but he’s still a goddamned legend. Name a better beef in the comments because I can’t think of one.
With that said, Jay-Z is totally going to emerge the victor in this. It was nice knowing you, Bobby D. You’ve had a good run.