Steven Hyden is a writer you may know from his stints at Grantland, The A.V. Club and Pitchfork. He has a new book out — Your Favorite Band Is Killing Me — that’s already an Amazon bestseller after being on sale for only a day. (EDITOR’S NOTE: Steven will be joining the Uproxx staff effective July 1.)
Steven was nice enough to take a few minutes out of his busy schedule recently to answer a few questions from us.
1. You walk into a bar. What do you order from the bartender?
An extra dirty vodka martini with extra olives — after that, things start to get fuzzy.
2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?
Read a book, dude.
3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR?
I don’t currently have a DVR, because I stream everything. I bought a season pass for The Night Manager but haven’t finished an episode yet. Guys with British accents put me to sleep after 10 p.m.
4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?
Do I know ahead of time it’s my last meal? If so, there’s no way I’d be hungry. Put a $200 steak in front of me and I’ll still be fixated on my hypothetical execution.
5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?
I still read Deadspin every day. I like Deadspin so much that I kept reading the site even after they called me “useless.” Internet content that keeps you coming back even after it insults you is quality Internet content.
6. What’s the most frequently played song on your mobile device?
Lately, it’s “Gangnam Style,” my 3-year-old son’s favorite song. I had been pushing Beatles and Beethoven music on him, but that stuff is basically bullsh*t now.
7. If you could go back and give your 18-year-old self one piece of advice, what would it be?
Lighten up. I was very intense at that age. That line from Dylan’s “My Back Pages” – “I was so much older then / I’m younger than that now” – definitely applies to me.
8. What’s the last thing you Googled?
My own name. (C’mon, I just wrote a book!)
9. Dogs or cats?
Let me ask you a question: Would you rather live with an adorable personification of unconditional love, or a pissy, weirdo roommate with four legs, a tail, and a sociopathic streak?
10. Best concert of your life was…?
Guided By Voices at Birdy’s in Indianapolis on Dec. 8, 2001. By show’s end, there were beer bottles up to my knees and I had my arms around the kindest, drunkest strangers I’d ever met.
11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?
Generally, a book isn’t a gift because it’s a little impersonal. Unless, of course, we’re talking about my book, Your Favorite Band Is Killing Me, which is available now via your favorite bookseller.
12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
My wife agreed to marry me.
13. South Park or Family Guy?
If somebody says Family Guy, does that mean you put them on a raft and send them off into the ocean?
14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?
I would probably put a lot of bad, fun stuff in my body – which is why it’s good that I never get a whole day to do whatever I want.
15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?
I remember my wife and I watching Pitch Perfect every damn day when it first showed up on HBO. At this point I’ve probably seen Pitch Perfect as many times as Goodfellas, which is clearly insane.
16. The sports team or teams you’re most passionate about?
The only sports team I really care about is the Green Bay Packers, though I care a lot less than I used to. When you’re a young man, sports fill the emptiness of your life. And then you start making children, and they take up that space.
17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?
The last time I was in New Orleans, I had some incredible meals. The cool thing about New Orleans is that there’s so much history that it sometimes feels like you’re surrounded by ghosts. And then one of the ghosts pukes on you, and you realize that superstition is stupid.
18. The last movie you saw in a theater?
Keanu. It was just okay, though I’ll probably end up watching it 50 times on HBO, at which point I’ll realize that it’s amazing.
19. Who was your first celebrity crush?
I don’t if she was my first crush, but I did write a fan letter to Candace Cameron. DJ Tanner had it going on back in ’89.
20. What would you cook if Nic Cage was coming to your house for dinner?
Assuming my local grocery store stocks unicorn meat, I would definitely serve Nic Cage some unicorn pot roast.
Your Favorite Band is Killing Me is on sale now at bookstores nationwide and on Amazon.
PREVIOUSLY: Emily Mortimer
