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9.29 The Cooler

Has Walmart Turned Its Back On You?

By / 09.29.10

For many years now, Walmart has been a one-stop for everything you could possibly need from a retailer. Baby clothes? Check. Tires? Check. Solar paneling? Check. Mice with human ears growing out of their backs? You bet. And all the while we kept walking past the elderly greeters, struggling to avoid eye contact, but not looking too far in another direction as to also avoid, you know, witnessing other Walmart shoppers.

But all of that has changed, friends, so sayeth a blogger, so you know it’s legit. A Texas mom/blogger (mlogger?) recently came to the conclusion that between travel expenses, increased product prices, poor customer service and comparison shopping at a rival retail store, Walmart just isn’t living up to its reputation anymore. I scoff at this notion, though, after having spent $97 on a 60-pound bag of dog food, six heads of lettuce and 402 pairs of underwear. Walmart rules, suckers.

You know what’s not cool, though? Hurting the environment, and that’s exactly what Target is being accused of right now in California. Prosecutors claim that at least 240 Target stores illegally disposed of a variety of returned or damaged products, including aerosols and paints, over a five-year period. Wondering how much a violation like that costs? Well let’s roll back to Walmart, as the retailer agreed to pay $27.6 million for its own environmental violations recently. Is there no trustworthy place left that I can buy a copy of Twilight and adult diapers?

While the retail giants deal with their alleged irresponsibility against Mother Nature, Sears and Kmart will strike, and strike like gods of holiday retail they will. Sears is opening 85 special toy shops within their stores nationwide as a means to get a head start on the Christmas/Hanukkah/Atheist gift-giving seasons. The reason for this sudden resurgence in retail store presence is that surveys are showing that people are back in malls and stores getting their gifts this year, and are straying from online retail sites for once. Not me, though. My family will once again get their presents from Adam & Eve.

If you do head out to the stores this year, make sure you avoid music stores in Orlando, Florida. At least those with grown men dressed as Elmo. One consumer found this out the hard way, after he punched Elmo in the back of the head and then received a heck of a beating, to the tune of two broken fingers and the wonderful shame of 24-hour Internet news.

[news-links]

  • Blogging consumers upset with Wal-Mart for rolling prices forward. (ABC News)
  • Meanwhile, Target doesn’t care too much for that whole environment thing. (Environmental Leader)
  • Sears says that toy store coffee is for holiday closers. (Reuters)
  • Florida man introduced to Please Stop Beating Me Elmo. (NBC Miami)

[/news-links]

[news-morenews]

  • A lawyer is suing his former law firm for forcing him to attend a work retreat that featured the potential for full male nudity. The law firm is suing the lawyer for legal fees they claim he owes. THIS WHOLE COURT IS OUT OF ORDER! (News.com.au)
  • A group of high school girls was sent home from their homecoming dance for dresses that were deemed too revealing. Meanwhile, the same girls have yet to RSVP for the Uproxx Prom. (ABC Dallas News)

[/news-morenews]

KNOW YOUR STATS

  • On average, women will spend 399 hours and 46 minutes of their lives shopping for awesome stuff like dress slips and those things that go inside shoes. I believe it was Copernicus – no, Plato – who said, “Women be shoppin’.” (Styleite)
  • Of the people using Twitter, 53% of Tweeters have recommended some sort of product to be purchased and 48% of them have actually purchased that product. Meanwhile, I‘m breaking the record for Tweeting: “Someone at Apple give me a freaking iPad!” (Bazaar Voice)


TAGSASSAULTELMOKMARTLAWYERSSEARSSESAME STREETSHOPPINGTARGETWALMART

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