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Verbatim Perfects Weightlessness, Thieves Perfect Vacuums

By 09.25.10

Verbatim has a new Clip-it USB drive in 2 GB and 4GB which also doubles as a paperclip, so you can hold all your pictures of Xzibit together with a flash drive full of Xzibit mp3’s. (Yo, dawg, I heard you like that.) But more importantly, the Verbatim paperclip USB is also the first anti-gravity USB, apparently.  Verbatim’s Business Development Manager Hans-Christoph Kaiser  stated the flash drive “weighs literally nothing, so it will not cause extra postal charges” [emphasis mine].  You guys have created an object that is literally weightless, and you’re yammering about the postage fees?  Priorities, man!

Kaiser isn’t the only one who is probably more interested in cool gadgets than English classes.  A study in the UK found that children from ages 3 to 10 were more proficient at using technology than at reading and writing. Well, of course.  First, you get the porn, then you learn to read the video descriptions. Then when you get the power to read the video descriptions, then you get the women even kinkier porn.

Meanwhile in France, a group of robbers known as the “gang à l’aspirateur” (Translation: cheese-eating surrender monkeys “vacuum gang”) are using a low-tech method of safecracking.  Someone in their merry band found out the Monoprix grocery store chain funnels money envelopes to their safes using a series of tubes. No, not the internet; a literal series of tubes.  So they broke into fifteen Monoprix stores, quickly drilling holes in the pneumatic suction tubes and removing the money with a vacuum cleaner.  They’ve stolen nearly €600,000 ($800,000) so far.  Sucks to be Monoprix.

[news-links]

  • Verbatim paperclip USB weighs “literally nothing” which would be literally amazing if it were true. (GadgetLab)
  • Kids in the UK more proficient with tech gadgets than with reading and writing. (SlashGear)
  • French thieves use vacuums to rob safes. (Geekosystem)

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[news-morenews]

  • A man in Pennsylvania exposed himself to two teenagers, simulated “a sexual act with a large plastic dinosaur in the park”, then rode away on his bicycle.  I have an alibi, I swear. (Philly)
  • TechCrunch interviewed Mark Zuckerberg on $100 million donation to New Jersey schools.
  • Speaking of data storage devices, a dog owner in England is not allowed to know the location of his stolen, microchipped Jack Russell terrier because the microchip provider says that would breach the Data Protection Act.  Uh, then why are you selling microchips to pet owners in the first place? (Telegraph)
  • A parrot has been arrested in Colombia for warning drug cartel members that police were in the area.  Polly want a bail bondsman? (Newslite, with video)

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[news-stats]

  • Lifehacker delves into how and why Chrome is overtaking Firefox among power users.  Meanwhile, Netscape is still #1 with “white power” users. Because they’re stuck in the past, you see. Crappy jokes are better when you explain them.
  • An infographic about what consumers use Facebook for somehow left out “annoying us with Farmville requests”. (Penn-Olson)
  • “Finding Meaning in Your Life Makes You More Attractive”  I find these social psychology studies fascinating.  I also find M&Ms in my couch. What does this mean? (GOOD)

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TOPICS#Facebook
TAGSCHROMECOLOMBIADINOSAURSDogsENGLANDFIREFOXFRANCELITERALLYMARK ZUCKERBERGMONOPRIXUSAUSB FLASHVERBATIM

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