Espionage is a hot topic lately, what with that dastardly Bond villain Julian Assange and his Wikileaks spoiling all of the government’s covert
idiocy fun and Angelina Jolie’s Salt coming out on DVD and Blu-Ray. Countries are starting to take their spying a little more seriously – maybe too seriously – and it seems like people may be going just a tad overboard with their conspiracy theories.
Relations between Russia and Britain have grown shaky since 2006 after the strange death of Alexander Litvinenko, the former Soviet spy who spent a decade or so blowing whistles on former Russian intelligence plots, because of Russia’s refusal to cooperate with Britain’s investigation into his death. Now the Russian government is accusing Britain of being paranoid when it comes to spies, as both countries have recently kicked diplomats out of their embassies on claims of espionage. This is going to make things seriously awkward at their upcoming softball game.
Speaking of former British spies, a 31-year old codebreaker with MI5 turned up dead in a padlocked gym bag back in August, and now investigators believe that an unknown couple was involved in his death. Gareth Williams was found decomposing in his apartment with more than $15,000 in women’s clothing in his wardrobe. Apparently he had a bit of a fondness for dressing in drag, as well as a potential fetish for bondage, and his death could have been a sex act gone wrong. This is why I only have sex with myself.
Finally, spy paranoia has even spread to one of our favorite odd stories of the year. Serbian tourist Dragan Stevic recently made news when he took a drunken leap from a diving board into the Red Sea and landed on a shark’s head ass-first, instantly killing the giant fish. Dragan has been regarded as a hero because locals say that shark had been terrorizing guests at the Sharm el-Sheikh beach resort. Egyptian authorities, though, tell a different story – the shark was sent by Mossad as an act of espionage. Of course it was.
(Banner image of course via my childhood favorite, MAD Magazine.)
- Britain and Russia expel diplomats over espionage claims, refuse to kiss and make up. (Xinhuanet)
- British spy found dead in a gym bag, possibly in his majesty’s service. (Daily Mail)
- Everybody panic – Israel has trained terrorist spy sharks! (The Shmooze)
- Sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman is going to pose for Playboy magazine, and then she’s going to try to save the future of the Russian empire by leading the Young Guard of United Russia. Yeah yeah, whatever, you were saying something about nudity? [With Video] (Vancouver Sun)
- The British intelligence agency MI5 has employed an unknown number of agents as undercover contractors and construction workers at London’s Olympics venues in order to stop potential terrorist plots. Next week they’ll be replaced with illegal immigrants. (Mirror News)
KNOW YOUR STATS
- Since the beginning of the Cold War in the 1940s, 93% of known cases of espionage have been committed by men, while the other 7% is obviously women. And yet female spies still demand equal pay. Give me a break. (Intelligence Search)
- As of 2009, approximately 70 to 80% of cases of corporate espionage are the result of inside jobs, according to the President of DeviceLock. In related news, Uproxx has promoted Lobster Dog to Director of Cyber Security. (USA Today)
I want more like this!
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