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Feel free to watch internet porn at the library

By 04.25.11

In their infinite wisdom, America’s founders had the foresight to think, “There shall come a day when moving images are transported through the air, like magic, and ye citizens of these United States will want to wank themselves off to those images, and big government should not be allowed to stand in the way of any person’s, ugh, pursuit of happiness, even at the public library.” Or something like that. Check it — it’s in the Federalist Papers.

Anyway, it looks as though, among other things, watching porn via the internet access provided by computers at your local public library is a right protected under the Constitution, at least in the vortex of smut that is New York City.

According to New York Public Library spokeswoman Angela Montefinise, due to the provisions of the First Amendment, “the New York Public Library cannot prevent adult patrons from accessing adult content that is legal.”

Reports the Village Voice:

According to the friendly library spokesperson we talked to, not only are adult customers able to view whatever they wish on public library computers, the library actually provides privacy screens (those dark covers for monitors that the user can see through but those beyond cannot) for customers who wish to view “questionable material.” There’s a separate area for children and teens, which is the youth wing (where questionable material is not allowed).

We asked, of course, for clarification … “This means you can watch porn,” he said.

And, of course, a couple of enterprising journalists from the New York Post found a “dirty old man” watching porn at the library — probably one who, when he’s not getting his squirt on at the library, works within the four semen-stained walls of the Post’s newsroom.

Library patron Daisy Nazario, 60, said she was grossed out when she discovered she was sitting next to an elderly porn watcher in the Brooklyn Central Library recently.

The looker was using library-provided extensions on the sides of his computer to block the view of his screen — which was featuring a threesome at the time — “but I could still hear the voices,” a disgusted Nazario said.

“It is very disrespectful to the children.”

Approached by The Post, the dirty old man skulked away, saying, “I don’t want to talk to you. Leave me alone.”

Seeing as how no one reads books anymore, libraries are basically the new Peep-O-Rama. Man, Andrea Peyser is gonna be so pissed about this.

(Via Pat’s Papers. Pic via)


TAGSNEW YORK CITYPORNthe library

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