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4.15 The Cooler

Week In Review: Can You Feel Him Now? The Verizon Guy Speaks Out

By / 04.15.11

It’s hard to imagine being the face of something, whether a corporation, professional sports franchise, an entire genre of music, or even a country’s government. Yet people continue to chase their dollars and dreams and very few of us end up pitying them when the attention becomes too great. My dream is to become the first man to ride a horse on Mars. Will that happen? Probably. I have a lot of connections. And when it does, people are going to be like, “Hey, you’re that guy who rode a horse on Mars.” I’ll probably love it at first, but it will undoubtedly get old after a while for me and my wife, Kate Upton. But that’s what we signed on for.
Take that guy above, for instance. We all know his face, those glasses and especially the catchphrase that comes with them. Can a guy like that handle the fame that comes with being a TV spokesperson for a decade? Can Kate Middleton cope with the fame she has fallen into as she will soon become a princess? Will Justin Bieber lend his face to NAMBLA? Welcome to this week’s Review.

This isn’t so much a huge story as it was an intriguing read, but The Atlantic ran a feature this week on actor Paul Marcacelli. Is he the next big thing? Did he win an Oscar for something? Is he in porn? No. He’s the Verizon Guy, as you can plainly tell from the lead banner pic and the image above, but let’s pretend like I really had you on the edge of your seat. After a 9-year run as the face of Verizon’s “Can you hear me now?” ad campaign, the communications company decided to go in a new direction with its advertising at the end of 2010 and now Paul is finally free from Verizon‘s shackles. While that might seem like exaggerated rhetoric, the story that he tells about his time with the company is somewhat shocking in that he was essentially Verizon’s property.
Now, of course, he can’t walk five feet without being recognized, as his one line has become the bane of his existence. However, if I were him I’d just hang out in bars and ask people: “Can you beer me now?”
As the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton approaches, global fanaticism is peaking for fans of this modern day fairy tale. That explains why a couple in Somerset, England is freaking out after discovering a jelly bean that they believe bears the uncanny likeness of the future princess. As you can see above, that is without a doubt a jelly bean next to a picture of Kate. As for the actual resemblance, well that would be in the eye of the beholder or anyone crazy enough to pay them for it.
(Via Huffington Post)

I swear this video seems familiar as if I’ve seen it before, perhaps in another life. But it has been making the rounds this week, so it is indeed relevant to our cause. We’re all familiar with the stunning majesty of the sporting event “Kiss Cam”, on which unsuspecting couples are targeted by arena and stadium cameramen and then forced into awkward lip locks by the cheering crowd. In the video above, you’ll see your standard Kiss Cam fare – guy kisses his beer, one guy goes in with too much tongue, two female cheerleaders… oh my. Are they going… are they going to kiss? My goodness, they are! NOOOOOOO!
(Via The Daily What)

"Gadzooks!"



A man in France found out the hard way that his Facebook account had been deleted because he changed his profile picture to feature a woman’s genitalia. Of course that sounds like a good enough reason to delete a guy’s account, but it turns out that the image was actually a famous piece of artwork – The Origin of the World by Gustave Courbet. Painted in 1886, Gustave’s tribute to the female anatomy as the giver of life is currently displayed in the Musee d’Orsay in Paris. And this isn’t the first time that Facebook has taken offense to this specific painting. As Gawker pointed out earlier this week, at least two other men have had their accounts shut down for posting images of the painting. It’s nice to know that displaying classic art invokes the same punishment as spamming.
(Via Gawker)

Los Angeles Lakers forward Kobe Bryant has had a pretty bad week. First, his reign as the man with the top-selling NBA jersey ended when Miami Heat forward LeBron James knocked over his throne. And if that wasn’t bad enough, during a game with the San Antonio Spurs, the Black Mamba was caught on video (above) calling a referee a derogatory term for homosexual people. For his spontaneous bigotry, Kobe earned a technical foul and a $100,000 fine from the league, as well as the scorn of millions of people, which he’s already used to. Kobe offered an apology for his remark… sort of. He gave the classic “I didn’t mean it like that” apology. Nice try, Mamba.
(Via With Leather)

The fact that Rutgers University paid Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi $32,000 to speak on campus recently was pretty big news over the past two weeks, and CNN silver fox Anderson Cooper finally shared his opinion on the matter by adding the Jersey Shore star and her castmates to his RidicuList. Of Snooki, Cooper said she is “impossibly lucky, unusually spunky, freakishly tan, beer guzzling, juicehead hugging, muscle loving, Botero body, pint-sized money-making machine.” I know, I’m trying to figure out which part is an insult, too.
(Via Daily Caller)

Coming to us from Croatia, the man known only as Braco has apparently come out of retirement* and is back to spreading his “extraordinary gift” throughout the world. That gift? Staring happiness into people. As you can see in the video above, Braco is a man of no words, and he simply observes people and directs pleasure at them with his glare. And while you and I may question his antics, millions of people absolutely eat this guy up. People travel from all over to experience his healing powers that he gives to everyone free of charge, out of the kindness of his heart. Haha, just kidding, he charges you out the butt. In fact, his second power is making you stare at your empty wallet.
*Various reports claim that Braco is indeed back while others say he retired 8 years ago and now practices only in Croatia. Because when you think big money, you think Croatia.
(Via Blog Critics)
The organization NAMBLA is rather controversial, as the acronym stands for the North America Man Boy Love Association. If you’re not familiar with NAMBLA, the title means exactly what you think it means. This is a group of adult males who openly pine for relationships with underage boys. Anywho, it seems that these men have their target set on a mighty prominent poster boy to really bring NAMBLA to the forefront of creepiness. As you can see in the Tweet above, they’ve chosen Justin Bieber. Well, they’d at least like to talk to him to clear the air. They’re just misunderstood, Biebs.
(Via Buzzfeed)

Finally, just because I’m a 10-year old at heart, this behind-the-scenes video from Return of the Jedi popped up a few days ago – at least it’s new to me and that’s all that matters in life – and it shows the actor behind the beloved Admiral Ackbar going over a random line. While the good Admiral is best known for shouting, “It’s a trap!”, I’m hoping he’ll someday be remembered for really nailing down the word “penetrating”.

KNOW YOUR STATS

  • The price tag for the upcoming royal wedding should end up around the $48 million mark, which is causing some monocles to shatter on the floor, as the money will be coming from the taxpayers. Moreover, the simple task of declaring April 29 to be a national holiday in Britain will end up costing the country $9.6 billion. And here I thought the bride’s father paid for everything. (SC Now)
  • British newspaper company Smiths News PLC is at least reaping the royal wedding benefits, as the global intrigue in William and Kate’s wedding helped the company’s profits rise 11% this quarter. It also helped that the company slashed costs and laid people off, but weddings are about happiness. (Reuters)


TOPICS#Facebook#Star Wars
TAGSANDERSON COOPERARTENGLANDFRANCEJustin BieberKOBE BRYANTNAMBLAROYAL WEDDINGSNOOKIVERIZON

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